SO the guy at the door is saying they’re full and I’m looking around and all I can see in this huge restaurant is empty tables. There’s a table there, I point out. And over there. And two there.
They’re all occupied, he says. Deadpan. Even while looking at my by now completely scrunched up and highly sceptical coupon.
“Eh, where is everyone?” I grunt. And at that moment he swivels and nods towards the top end of the restaurant where there is a gigantic queue that, somehow, amazingly, I didn’t manage to notice.
Uh, now, this is all taking place at roughly 10.20pm on a Tuesday in the heart of Tradeston, which if you don’t know is that semi-industrial zone on the south side of the Clyde.
Ramadan, he says. We don’t start serving until the sun goes down which today is at 10.10pm.
Which kind of explains why so many people are heading for something to eat at the same time. Anyway, I know it's Ramadan, and I know this is the Ramadan buffet, and I know that it runs throughout the month of Ramadan for people who have been fasting all day.
I know this because the guy from Glasgow’s Curry Heute website emailed me the other day to say exactly that – and that I should check it out.
None of this I explain to the guy at the door but after a little bit of polite negotiation, a suggestion that chunky as I am I can easily squeeze in somewhere, I’ve dumped my stuff at a table with a pile of young guys sitting at the end and I am in that very queue that I somehow managed to miss.
The Village doesn’t normally do buffets, the guy at the door had also said, Ramadan and Mother's Day only. Too much trouble keeping the stuff fresh. Tonight the stuff is fresh. And as I move along with the friendly, polite queue food is arriving at the serving counter straight from the kitchens. Samosas, pakoras, chats, two different types of those little pancake-shaped fried meat patties.
Fish pakora, sir, someone is asking. Pizza? Pizza, I think? Kids mainly eating it, and there are lots of them in with their parents, mum or dad’s mobile phone on the table with cartoons playing away. There’s a real family feel to this despite the time.
I take my plate back to the table, order a Diet Coke and begin eating. Everyone around me is doing the same. There’s nothing particularly unfamiliar here, but it is all freshly cooked. I could go up for second helpings. OK, I do even though I warned myself not to overeat at this time of night, but those pancakey things are very good. A spoonful or two of chutney on the side.
Then it’s back in the queue for main courses. Rows of urns with various curries await. People again stand back politely to let each other help themselves.
The biggest queue is at the chicken pilao urn, not something that would be my No1 choice but desi or village style means the chicken is on the bone, the rice is soaked in juices and gravies and it is delicious.
There were paaye, neharis, curries with chicken, curries with lamb. A keema with potatoes is dry, heavily spiced, good; the bhoona simple, full of flavour and all on the bone.
Have some desserts, the guy at the door says as I finish off and get up to pay.
There’s another counter behind but I can’t eat another thing. The place is still going strong, people wandering up and down, the rush, apparently, over by around midnight.
How much does all this cost? I’m not exactly sure as when I look at my receipt it just has the total price on it. That comes in at £14.35 including that Diet Coke.
Good value, good atmosphere and probably the busiest place in Glasgow by far at this time of night.
The Village Curry House
129 Nelson Street, Glasgow (www.villagecurryhouse.co.uk, 0141 429 4610)
Menu: It’s a buffet but unusually one where pretty much everything is fresh, and just for the month of Ramadan. 4/5
Atmosphere: Mobbed, families with children, groups of guys. Bustling and busy. 5/5
Service: It’s a buffet though people come round the tables and take your drinks orders. All pleasant and friendly. 3/5
Price: I think it was £12 for the whole buffet experience. My bill was £14.35, including a Diet Coke. 5/5
Food: Desi style village cooking. Big on flavours, bones often included, rich, simple straightforward food. 7/10
Total: 24/30
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here