Not high on the list of father-to-son instructions – yours, mine or anyone else's – is this admonition: “Never take advice on how to wear a belted mac from a YouTube tutorial made by a man who reads Dean Koontz novels.”
That's lucky for video blogger Aaron Marino, because he has just such an item on the bookshelf behind him. It's visible as he explains how he can help men everywhere cope with “this long-ass belt”, as he calls it. Marino broadcasts as Alpha M and among the other tutorials he offers are How to Text Like a Gentleman (“Limit your use of lol”), How to Get Your Collar to Stand Up and Stay Up and Pubic Hair Management (“Trim the bushes and the tree looks taller!”). If you look more kindly on the works of Dean Koontz than I do, by all means try that last one. But no before and after pictures, please. Save that for your ungentlemanly texts, lol.
Neither is Marino the only video blogger, or vlogger, offering style tips. Interested in the “man bun”? Rashnu is an American fashion vlogger with 150,000 followers and he can show you not just one but four ways of doing it. There's “the top knot”, “the messy bun”, “the half-up-half-down” and “the lazy side bun”. Of course you'll need hair the length of Rashnu's to manage any of these, as well as something called a “bobby pin”. But after that it's easy as pie.
One of my favourite style vloggers is Ian, an unassuming (and pleasingly middle-aged) Antipodean who goes by the moniker Professor Shoelace. He'll show you Straight Bar lacing, much loved by sneakerheads and by a certain Arthur Lydiard OBE, an athletics coach who recommended it for reducing pressure on the foot. He'll also induct you into the arcane ritual that is the Ian Knot, apparently the world's fastest.
Now, I'm not really that interested in man buns, texting or topiary tips for “downstairs”. But one sartorial conundrum I have always struggled with is what to do with those silly laces they put on the shoes you get when you hire a kilt for a wedding. Look no further: here's a handy tutorial from Slanj Kilts with everything you, I or anyone else would ever need to know. Turns out I've been doing it completely wrong for years.
But as well as advice to be had, there's money to be made. Last year a British digital marketing firm estimated that the most popular vloggers can earn up to £20,000 a year from advertising. One such is 23-year-old Marcus Butler from Brighton, whose YouTube channel has more than four million subscribers. He deals with everything from armpit waxing to how to dress like Katy Perry to annoying things people do in public toilets.
Inspired by Professor Shoelace, if not perhaps Alpha M, I have started work on the Barry Knot and intend to film it as I work through the development stages. Speed isn't its USP though: this one aims to be the world's messiest. But I'm sure there will be somebody out there who wants into the secret one day. And where there's knots there's brass, it seems.
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