LIFE is too predictable. Don’t get me wrong – I’m routine’s No1 fan. Without it I couldn’t function. But there are highways where the appearance of a stranger called Randomness in the rear-view mirror makes the drive worthwhile.
One example is the buying of cars. If, like me, you’re reluctant to hand over money for something which will only fall steeply in value, you need an appetite for the unexpected. You can't be too demanding about your next steed and must be prepared for the odd curveball. The world of bargain basement cars is riddled with them.
It’s a world I know well. Through almost two decades of buying cars I have never parted with more than three grand for one. I thought my depreciation allergy had reached its apogee with my last Saab 9-3 Viggen, an eBay gamble that cost £1900 and delivered 30,000 invigorating and comfortable miles of motoring, but less than two weeks ago I strode blithely into a new realm of thrift. And I didn’t see it coming.
It was a cursory email to an ex-colleague asking after the health of his car that lit the touchpaper. The next thing I know I am outside his double garage in the west end of Glasgow watching him guide out a maroon (sherry pearl, to be precise) Volkswagen Corrado powered by a two-litre, 16-valve engine with barely 95,000 miles on the clock. Bear in mind this car rolled out of the Karmann factory in Osnabruck 22 years ago.
David (his real name) points out a dent here, a scratch there. His wife hates it, he tells me, and driving it gives him cramp in his left leg. The outer rubber sill on the driver’s window keeps popping out of place. “The tyres are nothing fancy,” he adds, seemingly intent on dissuading me from owning one of the most handsome sports coupes ever built, not to mention one with no rust, a fresh MOT and hee-haw on the clock. For the purpose of clarity, dear reader, he wishes to sell the car. To me.
He eases the Corrado into the cramped streets of Hillhead and out through Partick on to the Clydeside Expressway, over the Kingston Bridge and along the M8. I soon learn the VW dislikes creases in the tarmac and absolutely loathes manhole covers, and it prefers jogging to sprinting. It sounds as if there are two dozen budgerigars blethering in the spare wheel compartment. But get this: the rear spoiler rises when you hit 50mph.
I don’t like the wheels or the tyres, the front fog lenses need replaced, the suspension needs money thrown at it and the rear windscreen wiper motor is goosed. A new alarm is required, the power steering pump sounds knackered and the bonnet soundproofing is beyond perished.
Six days later and David and I have struck a deal. The Rado is my latest sub-£3k acquisition. If my back goes again, I won’t be able to get in it or out of it. If I want to shift anything big then I can forget it. If I want to kick the bahoochie off it I’ll be disappointed.
Do you know what, though? It’s suave. It’s fun. Best of all, it came completely out of the blue.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here