Within spitting distance

SO Motherwell have parted company with manager Mark McGhee. As Scottish Comedy FC remarked on social media: “Mark McGhee’s never been short on confidence. Interesting to see if he applies to replace himself at Motherwell.”

However we somehow recall when Mark was manager at Aberdeen and was spat at by Aberdeen fans. Club owner Stewart Milne said on the telly that he admired McGhee “for taking it on the chin”.

Slam-dunk reply

THE entertaining basketball troupe, Harlem Globetrotters, return to the Braehead Arena next month. We remember the last time they played there when player Eugene “Wildkat” Edgerson was asked by a BBC reporter who he thought would win the Old Firm game that was on that weekend.

Obviously prepared for the question, Wildkat replied: “Well, our uniform is red, white and blue, but I always shoot for the hoops, so I reckon it’ll be a draw.”

What’s in a name?

A GLASGOW reader hears a young woman tell her pals that her new boyfriend is called Hugh. He thought the friend’s reply was inspired when she said: “Three-quarters of Hughs are ugh.”

Deadpan question

TODAY is Ash Wednesday so don’t be surprised if you see some folk with ash on their foreheads after visiting church. We recall one such churchgoer who was asked when she returned to her Glasgow office what the mark was on her forehead.

She replied it was ashes, and her colleague, not the brightest admittedly, asked who’s funeral had she been to.

Giving up on giving up

AND Ash Wednesday is of course the start of Lent, when you are supposed to give up something for 40 days. As one reader once cheerfully told us: “What do I give up for Lent? Usually my New Year’s Resolutions.”

Cupboard love

GROWING old continued. There are some benefits to getting older.

As reader Alex Mulholland tells us: “I went into a cupboard and discovered a bottle of Glenmorangie that I thought I had drunk at Christmas - so that’s a benefit of becoming forgetful.”

Late response OUR late-for-work stories remind Jim McGovern: “My attendance at work when I was an apprentice glazier could occasionally be erratic. I was offered Saturday morning overtime drilling mirrors in the workshop. I arrived around 8.15am a bit under the weather and the gaffer, looking none too chuffed, said, ‘You should have been here at eight o’ clock.’ My stupid answer, ‘Why? What happened?’ got me sent home with four hours overtime down the pan.”

Punditry

AND today’s piece of daftness comes courtesy of comedy writer Sanjeev Kohli, who told his online fans: “All that shoplifting in my teens has given me sore wrists.

“Apparently this condition is called RSI McColls.”