IT all began rather noisily.

As Mother Theresa's heavy duty cavalcade of Range Rovers sped into the Dean Clough Victorian mill in Halifax it was met by a chorus of disapproval.

A gaggle of socialists had inconviently arrived, suggesting there could be trouble at' mill with shouts of "Tory scum!" "Out! Out! Out!" "They Say Cutbacks, We Say Fight Back".

Up above, on a road overlooking the entrance to the mill a large poster had been draped, courtesy of Unite the Union, which shouted: "End zero hours." Next to the flourish of red flags was a cutout Dalek with the contorted face of the PM plastered on it.

The old Victorian mill apparently holds Bavarian nights and the bricked interior gave the venue the feel of a bierkeller with a bar on one side. I know Tezza is an admirer of Germany's Angela Merkel but this seemed a tad excessive. I half expected a Bavarian oompah band to strike up and the Shadow Cabinet to appear wearing lederhosen and dirndls.

Behind a true blue backdrop with the slightly totalitarian sounding slogan "Forward, Together," the strong and stable leader appeared to applause and did her best to shrug off her Dalek persona by over-emphasising every headline slogan.

She thrust her head forward and gurned as she fired off key phrases like the "enduring power of the British people," "a vision for Britain," and the best one of all "my mainstream government will deliver for mainstream Britain".

Of course, the PM was in Yorkshire so decided to adopt the Geoffrey Boycott no nonsense, tell it like it is, style of politics, saying how she wanted to be "upfront and straight" with people, how there would be no fudgery on Brexit, and that she respected ordinary working people, who were not fooled by politicians who promised the earth and claimed no tough choices were required.

Having donned the Red Tory mantle, feeling confident enough to even squeeze the pips of her staple constituency - the well-heeled pensioner - the head girl promoted herself as a Tory with a soul, insisting how she would be relentless in tackling burning injustices.

With not a hint of irony, the vicar's daughter eyed her congregation, puffed out her chest and intoned: "For injustice is a scar on the soul of our nation and I will fight it wherever it is found."

She ended her oration with an exaggerated flourish, flinging open her arms and exhorting the nation: "Let's all go forward together."

At the post-speech Q&A, the head girl was asked about lines from the manifesto, which mentioned how the May Party rejected the "cult of selfish individualism" and abhorred "social division, injustice, unfairness and inequality". Was this a rejection of Thatcherism and an expression of Mayism, she was asked?

The Maybot rolled her eyes and snapped: "There is no such thing as Mayism; just good, solid Conservatism."

The ministerial Daleks clicked and buzzed their approval. Some later noted how the party had crashed to a 15 per cent lead in the polls but insisted they were taking nothing for granted.

Yet their eyes suggested something different; they think it's in the bag.