JEZZA had a twinkle in his eye as, newly invigorated, he knew that facing him now was a divided cabinet. How times change.
As the Maybot delivered her counter-punches to the hairy Leftie’s chin over the fraught subject of the pay cap, in the blue corner freelancers Bozza and Fallon could be seen having their own animated conversation in defiance of their leaderene.
Denouncing the ministerial “flip-flopping and floundering” on the pay cap, Jezza appeared to be having fun at last, trying his best to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
But the stony-faced head girl hit back, declaring: “He and I both value public sector workers and our public services; the difference is: I know we have to pay for them.”
The chief comrade rolled the PM’s right hook and insisted the pay cap was “recklessly exploiting the goodwill of public servants” He declared to cheers from the comrades: “They need a pay rise!”
As Bozza and Fallon continued their private musings, Thezza rose to deliver a haymaker, suggesting the reason for all this austerity was Labour’s mismanagement of the economy.
“Let me remind him of what happens when you do not deal with the deficit…In Greece, what did we see with that failure to deal with the deficit? Spending on the health service cut by 36 per cent. That does not help nurses or patients.”
A palpable hit as the Tory berserkers roared. But Jezza’s chin took the knock.
He insisted the PM “simply does not get it” and countered with his own upper-cut, accusing Mother Theresa of overseeing a “low pay epidemic”.
He asked ruefully: “Except for more misery, what do the Prime Minister and her Government actually offer the young people of this country?”
As the Tory chorus cried “jobs,” their leader repeated the line and insisted it was not fair to bankrupt the country and load more debt onto our children and grandchildren.
Jezza shuffled his feet and hit back, saying: “When Tories talk of tough choices, we know who suffers: the poorest and most vulnerable in our society.” Now the comrades cheered.
But Thezza had one last swing, saying everyone knew what the Labour chief meant when he said his party was a government-in-waiting.
“Waiting to put up taxes, waiting to destroy jobs and waiting to bankrupt our country. We will never let it happen,” roared the strong and stable one.
For once, a cool Jezza smiled, knowing, for the moment at least, his stability is stronger than the PM’s.
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