I AM nearly gay. I love musical theatre, the company of women and Barbra Streisand (although not Judy Garland, so technically I’m not a friend of Dorothy.) I love melodramas, am borderline obsessive about matching up exact socks and always iron my underpants.

Now, before the righteous start to sniff a little homophobia in this opener it has to be said the above description of my closeness to the same sex appreciation society comes from the colleague and gay chum who sits next to me (and interestingly, doesn’t conform to any of the stereotypes.)

However, the reason for stating my gay credentials (gay friends; gay tennis partner, holidaying with gay pal – and I have been snogged by a gay man) – is not to curry pink favour but to limit possible discredit upon addressing the state of gay Scotland.

Last night, BBC2 screened, Against the Law, the story of journalist Peter Wildeblood who in 1957 admitted he was homosexual and was awarded 18 months in the pokey for his honesty. The drama was released to coincide with the anniversary of England’s legalisation of homosexuality in 1967.

But what of Scotland? We have been able to claim the higher ground by legalising gay marriage in 2014. And we’ve taken to task those who refuse to open their boarding house doors to men who wish to share a bed, (not in an innocent Morecambe and Wise manner).

And we can tell ourselves “Isn’t it wonderful to be living in a lovely LGBT-friendly world.” But we shouldn’t listen to a word of it. Because the truth is we don’t.

The truth is backwards Scotland didn’t legalise homosexuality until 1980. And if we are so liberal how many gay footballers are out there on the Caledonian fields? None. Tennis players? Zilch. Rugby stars? Nada. Of course it could be there are actually none, that we don’t produce gay sporting heroes such as Gareth Roberts or Tom Daley.

It could be I’m the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Writing about Scots celebrities over the years has underlined nothing but gay discrimination. Few gay Scottish actors have come out. The likes of Para Handy star John Grieve, panto legend Walter Carr and former Crossroads favourite Angus Lennie would sooner have had their Equity cards torn up before admitting sexual preference.

Camp performers perhaps find it a little easier to emerge from the closet, such as Alan Cumming (although he did once marry a woman) but Richard Wilson took a long time. And for River City’s Gary Lamont to deny his sexuality would be as absurd as Gary Lineker’s annual salary.

But so many Scots in the business (including pop stars, TV anchors, political frontmen) still debate whether to come out of the closet.

Yes, Radio Four’s Eddie Mair is out, but only as the result of being exposed by a tabloid newspaper. And he keeps a very low profile; perhaps not surprising having been headlined; ‘The Gay From Tay.’

Sadly, there are institutions which still anticipate, and in doing so precipitate, public prejudice. A few years ago, after pitching a book about a major (gay) Scots entertainer, one publisher suggested it would be better if he were not gay. I suggested it would be better if they were not publishers.

London has long been a far more forgiving place to be gay. But while Elton could come out and be applauded his former partner and manager John Reid had to leave Glasgow because of the weight of judgement. (His dad beat him up on discovery of his son’s predilection.)

These days women seem more likely to come out than men; Kezia and Ruth and Karen Dunbar and Val McDermid, but male gay writers? We have our own Ortons, several of them very high profile, but they choose not to speak of the love that dare not speak its name. We have our major comedy stars who still fear opprobrium and perhaps the end of a career?

Yes, our culture of acceptance has changed. In Fifties Edinburgh, police packed known gay men onto London-bound trains and warned if they returned they’d be beaten and sent back.

That doesn’t happen today. But when was the last time you saw gay men hold hands in a city centre? Or share a kiss?

There’s an argument for sexuality to be off the public table, but silence simply alerts. Best if everyone came out. Then the issue would normalise, dissolve and Scots would be as comfortable talking about their partners as would someone in a heterosexual marriage.

And staying in the closet can cause damage. What years of talking to gay celebrities has revealed is that lives are stunted, contained. Cyclist Graeme Obree said denial led to mental health issues.

Yes, homophobic attacks are less; when someone tweeted a rant against STV weatherman Sean Batty the law reacted faster than you can say ‘Nighty night.’

But our collective mind has to open a little more. Mine included, otherwise I wouldn’t have to mention the gay kiss was part of panto dame Johnny McKnight’s audience shocker moment. Because in our own way, we’re still persecuting our Wildebloods.