With its intriguing title, ‘She Said He Said I Said,’ the latest issue of New Writing Scotland (edited by Diana Hendry and Susie Maguire and published by the Association for Scottish Literary Studies at £9.95) offers its usual lively mixture of poetry and prose, from no fewer than 48 writers. Here is Graham Fulton’s contribution - about the horrors of the photo booth!
WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T SMILE
looking subnormal in a photo booth
only takes a neutron of the consciousness
it took
in the old days
when you had to wait a week
for 4 sloppy photos
to slide out of the slot
in a strangely sexual way
on the side of a weird machine
with a wee overworked man inside
frantically developing at the speed of light,
while now
you twirl the chair to the demanded height
and listen to the female robot instructions
and place your digital head
precisely
within the red oval
and whatever you do don’t smile
whatever you do don’t smile,
util it’s all done
and you get your pictures 51 seconds later
and stare at them in disbelief
and do it all again
in the hope that this time
Brad Pitt’s or The Elephant Man’s
or anyone else’s face will be there
instead of your own
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