‘Alchemy,’ an anthology of new poems and prose by Crichton Writers 2017, was inspired by the history of the Annandale Distillery. Robert Burns, exciseman and poet of Dumfries, inevitably takes his place in the volume’s proceedings. Here are two reflections on the bardic theme by JoAnne McKay.

     CURATING BURNS HOUSE

Like fragments of the true cross, spot lit

for devout attention, the gauging rod

and toddy ladle of a minor god

laze in case, conjuring the hypocrite

to taxing thoughts of illicit stills

in heather hills, copper worms condensing

some spirit of freedom, and Scotch smuggling

down South for pound profit from the gristmills.

God knows, the winter is wild, comfort hard

to come by, two fingers for the exciseman,

Ca ira, Ca ira, sit down, sup up

revels and romance with the whisky bard.

Love, lust; distil raw feeling as a man

to poem proof alone I’ll raise a cup.

FIVE THINGS MY MOTHER, AN ENGLISHWOMAN,

WILL ALWAYS SAY AT A BURNS SUPPER

1)   It’s actually swede you know.

2)   I’m not sure they used Maris Piper.

3)   I don’t want to think about the haggis.

4)   Just a drop.

5)   It’s quite a long poem, isn’t it?