YOUR diarist makes no apology for having backed England in previous World Cups where Scotland haven’t featured. Over the course of a televised football season you find yourself developing a decent relationship with some of England’s finest, and this becomes difficult to shake off when an international tournament starts. It’s also an increasingly no-risk position to take, as it becomes clear with each passing tournament that England’s chances of actually winning it are on a par with Panama’s.
Curiously though, as England’s chances diminish further every four years, so it seems that the chauvinism and mince-factor of their commentators expands. I give you last week’s warm-up game against Costa Rica at Elland Road. Marcus Rashford is an admittedly gifted young player and the Diary hopes he has a good World Cup. Yet at half-time the analysts were comparing him with the great Brazilian forward Ronaldinho, courtesy of one skilful turn.
READ MORE: World Cup Willie: The 'England' song written by a Scot
Soon the Costa Rican goalkeeper Keylor Navas was being disparaged as over-rated. This is a player who last month won a third Champions League medal with Real Madrid, the best football team on the planet ... we’ve got another four weeks of this.
Where are all the Scottish pundits?
THE Diary was pleased to see that five women are included in the BBC and ITV broadcasting line-ups. The BBC’s Vicki Sparks will become the first woman to commentate on a World Cup game for British TV during the tournament while two of England women’s finest players, Alex Scott (BBC) and Eniola Aluko (ITV), will be pundits. Gabby Logan and Jacqui Oatley will also share some of the presenting duties.
Each broadcaster’s squad of pundits reveals a mixed bunch of talents who range by grades of literacy from “good” through to “more-or-less literate” and all the way down to “Scottish Tory councillor”. English pundits dominate each side, of course, and we have no major problem with that. There are also two Irishmen, a Welshman, an Argentinian, a Spaniard and a Frenchman.
Perhaps we’re simply looking for grievances and being a bit too chippy here, but couldn’t room have been found for at least one Scottish pundit in these UK-wide broadcasting corporations? I know we haven’t qualified, but neither have any of the other nations of the British Isles. And we do contribute £300 million in licence fees to the BBC. I’d nominate Stuart Cosgrove. I know Antiques Roadshow is the only programme in which the ubiquitous Cosgrove has never appeared, but Hampden Babylon remains one of the best books about football ever written.
Three big howlers ... and we're due another one
ENGLISH commentators know little about World Cup history and understand less. If they did they would know that previous World Cups are littered with the broken reputations of English goalies. In 1970 Chelsea’s Peter Bonetti sold the jerseys in a quarter-final against West Germany. And who can forget Peter Shilton’s lamentable attempt to get to the ball ahead of Diego Maradona at the same stage in 1986?
Maradona may have borrowed the hand of the Almighty in scoring, but English scribes conveniently overlook the fact that Shilton is almost a foot taller than Maradona and came rushing out of his goal like your sozzled Uncle Tam dancing at a wedding. In 2002 it was David Seaman’s turn to do the drunk hokey-cokey when he let Ronaldinho chip him from about 150 yards. You could have boiled a kettle in the time it took that lob to find the net.
The Diary’s never been brilliant at arithmetic, but by our calculations each of these three howlers occurred at 16-year intervals. So that means we’re due another England goalkeeping calamity at Russia 2018. Jack Butland seems to be favourite to start against Tunisia next Monday. I’m sure you’ll all join me in prayer that the ghosts of tournaments past will not return to haunt him. Butland plays for Stoke City. This means we will be treated to about 300 replays of that that over-rated save by Gordon Banks (who also played for Stoke) against Brazil in 1970. The grossly over-rated Pele should hang his head in shame though, for making it easy for Banks.
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