ISN’T Russia hosting a splendid tournament? The stadiums have been full, there have been no goalless draws and the wonderful displays of good-humoured fervour by the assorted ranks of global supporters have made this tournament a Brexiteer’s nightmare.

You might recall in the run-up to Russia 2018 that both the BBC and ITV spent fortunes flying reporters to Russia with only one aim: to paint Russia as a backward, neo-fascist, banana republic whose football was disfigured by feral packs of neo-fascists and former Spetsnaz operatives running all over the place. All of them seemed to be interviewing the same person: a young lad hiding beneath a balaclava who looked as though he couldn’t fight sleep. The campaign though, has had a happy outcome for football-lovers the world over.

So spooked were England’s supporters by the anti-Russian pre-tournament coverage that they’ve stayed away in their multitudes. Thus, many of the fans who brought terror to the streets of Luxembourg, Turin, Basel, Stuttgart, Frankfurt, Cagliari, Stockholm, Dublin, Rome, Marseilles, Glasgow and Brussels over the last 40 years have decided to stay at home for fear of getting a right good kicking by the admittedly unruly Young Russian Tongs ya bas (YRT).

On behalf of peace-loving football supporters everywhere I’d suggest that a contingent of the YRT be flown out for every international tournament. I’d also be inclined to buy advertising slots on British television before each tournament showing the YRT in the worst possible light. They seem to have succeeded where all other tournament organisers have failed in finally keeping England’s mad squad at bay.