Waspish comment

STILL great weather out there. A south side reader confesses: "Got into my car at the shopping centre and saw a wasp buzzing outside the window. Without thinking I quickly pushed the button to lock the car doors. Still can't work out what I thought he was going to do. Yank the door open?"

And Margaret Wells in Burnside said: "Skimming through the guide for Freeview television channels on yet another hot day, noticed The Bible Network showing a programme called 'Praise Shorts'. Couldn't agree more."

Monkeying around

LOTS of music around just now. A young woman named Rachel told her pals on social media: "Cuttin' about Clarkston pure confused why/how every house was playing Arctic Monkeys, not realising it was just you could hear it from Glasgow Green."

Mama mia

COIA'S Cafe on Duke Street is celebrating its 90th birthday. We remember when Dennistoun was becoming a bit more trendy and the cafe became the first to put tables and chairs outside for passing boulevardiers to pause and have a cafe latte. But they didn't get too carried away. The furniture was accessorised with matching chains and padlocks to ensure a passing punter didn't acquire them for a home makeover.

And Still Game's Ford Kieran once claimed that as a teenager moping around Coia's Cafe he put Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox so often it was removed. He cheekily declared: "It's a long song - two records in length for the price of one. I think the owner wound up hating it for economic reasons rather than musical ones.''

Tongue tied

ICE hockey team the Braehead Clan has been rebranded as the Glasgow Clan to make it more recognisable which part of the country they are from. Most of their fans have given the new name their approval, but a fan of rivals the Sheffield Steelers got in touch to tell the club: "Not even joking - I can’t even pronounce Glasgow Clan properly without feeling like I’m eating my own tongue."

Hair-raising

GROWING old continued. "When you realise the barber has cut more hair from your eyebrows that your head," says Jim Inglis.

Milked it

HOW'S this for an argument? Deril Wyles in Stirling revealed: "Guy from the TV licence chapped my uncle's pal's door who told him he didny have a telly, and the guy was like, 'You’ve got an aerial on your roof' and he replied, 'I’ve got a pint of milk in the fridge - disny mean I’ve got a coo out the back' and shut the door."

Once bitten

COULDN'T believe how red a colleague's face has become with all this sunny weather. He saw me staring so came over to tell me: "I saw a sign in a shop 'Midge nets £10'. I didn't even know insects could play the lottery."

King of the road

A CUMBERNAULD reader emails to tell us: "With the possibility growing of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country and western song where a guy's truck leaves him too."