Getting cross

HOW is this for marketing? Reader Jane Ann Liston in St Andrews noticed that her local Morrisons' supermarket had a large sign stating "Celebrate Burns Night" with a handy picture of Rabbie Burns and an advertisement for "Saltire Buns". She had never heard of saltire buns so she looked a little closer – and the label on the packaging of said baked goods actually identified them as hot cross buns.

Nice to get the Easter goods moving along a little earlier.

Exit strategy

TRYING to find something positive in all this Brexit bourach? We commend Scots stand-up Scott Agnew who says: "Quite purposely not started a New Year, new me January diet as I fully expect to starve post-March 30th. Think thin, think Brexit."

Paint it red

ONE of the many downsides of January is making sense of your credit card and bank statements after the free-for-all of Christmas and December. As Neil Reynolds confessed: "This just happened to me! Saw a transaction for £500 to The Body Shop in the bank account. Accused my wife of going mad on shower gel. Then realised it was the car getting fixed after someone had stolen brake lights and damaged the paintwork."

Sweet success

LOOKING for someone else being positive in the current gloom, we spot a woman remarking on social media, and we wonder how many folk would agree with her, who stated: "Sometimes I just wish everyone could be as happy as I am when I find stray sweets at the bottom of my purse."

Glass act

A FINAL pub glass story from a reader who tells us: "At work one year my secret Santa gave me whisky miniatures with an inscribed Famous Grouse glass. I was delighted. The next year I received a pack of beers with a branded pint glass. The following year another branded glass.

"At a New Year party, I used the inscribed glasses, leading to banter about me being a serial glass nicker, and subsequently my friends started giving me glasses to add to my "collection". I have never borrowed a glass in my life, but I now have 19 hidden in a cupboard. Do you think the charity shops would welcome stolen goods?"

Oh, and he adds: "Don't mention my name, as the glass thing has quietened down and I don't want it started again."

Moving

OUR stories of etymological misunderstandings remind Mary Duncan: "It's not just Scotland having different words, but areas within. I had to tell my Aberdonian sister-in-law when she and her husband were moving to Glasgow that she really would have to stop talking about having a man come round to do a wee jobbie in her house."

Brass neck

TODAY'S piece of whimsy comes from Martin Morrison in Lochinver who tells us: "I pulled the muscles in my neck and was rigid with pain. I went to the doctor and he gave me some painkillers and a stiffened collar. Really, I haven't looked back since."

Remotely interested

GROWING old continued. A Glasgow reader confesses: "Mount Etna is 500,000 years old and is still active, yet I've only turned 60 and can't be bothered changing the channel to watch a favourite show because the remote control is across the other side of the room."