OUR pub jokes remind John Gilligan of when he owned The Cross Keys in Stevenston, Ayrshire: "A guy walked in and asked a worthy at the bar, 'gonna lend me a tenner?'. After asking three times and being ignored, he was helped by the barman who asked the worthy if he could at least reply. 'Reply to whit? Ah canna hear him,' he said.
"So the barman said, 'Well I can hear him clearly.' 'Good,' said the regular. 'You can lend him the tenner then'."
THE Herald archive picture of Prime Minister Harold Wilson in Glasgow reminds Donald Gillies of being in the city centre at the time of the visit. "Wilson emerged from a car to enter an office in St Vincent Street. A group of Rangers fans was passing and Wilson, trying to be the man of the people, addressed them cheerily, 'Ah off to win the cup?'
Loading article content
"Unbeknownst to him, Rangers had recently been knocked out the cup by Hearts, so he looked somewhat shaken when one of the fans replied, 'Beat it, Fatty!'"
THE death of rock-n-roll legend Chuck Berry is sad, but he was not always the easiest person to get on with, it has to be said. Scots-born photographer Albert Watson once said in an interview that Chuck was the most difficult person he had worked with - and that he had walked out after only four pictures were taken.
Shortly afterwards Albert received a DVD of a film Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones had made with Chuck, and Keith had written a note with it stating: "You're not the only one. He put me through hell."
GROWING old continued. An Airdrie reader tells us she well remembers an aunt who was still driving at the age of seventy. Our reader was in the car with the aunt when she went through a light that had already turned to red. Our reader's nerves were not helped by her aunt looking at her discomfort and telling her: "Just do what I do when the lights change - close your eyes."
MUCH debate on former Chancellor George Osborne editing a newspaper and advising a financial institution without giving up his MP's job. Commented James Doleman: "It's a huge indictment of modern Britain that many people have to do three jobs to make a living."
TALKING of politics, much conjecture as well about whether Scotland should be independent. We suspect that international press photography firm Getty Images didn't help much by captioning a picture it sent out of Scots Tory leader Ruth Davidson, as saying it was taken in "Edinburgh, England".
WELL the school year is flying in fast. A retired primary teacher tells us: "Just a hint to parents who will be thinking about buying their child's teacher a present at the end of the year. They don't want candles or an Amazon voucher. They put up with your kids. They want wine."
NICE day for getting out yesterday. Says Bruce Skivington: "While out this morning I noticed some of the more aggressive-looking dogs wearing yellow coats with the logo, 'I need space' to warn people. Do you know where you can get these coats for grandchildren?"