A mountain to climb
AN EDINBURGH reader says he may have spotted the laziest tourist in the city. He was walking past the Vodafone shop on Princes Street which has a huge photograph of Edinburgh Castle in its window. A young chap was positioning his girlfriend beside it so that he could take her picture “beside the castle” rather than the pair of them hiking themselves up the hill to the actual castle across the road.
And while many people visiting the capital just now are singing its praises, a warning from a visitor from Caithness who went on social media yesterday to declare: “It’s £9.90 for a pint of Peroni and a bottle of Bud in Edinburgh. Madness!” Stick to Glasgow, that’s what we say.

Scoring for Celtic
A CELTIC fan tells us it was 20 years ago yesterday that Henrik Larsson signed for Celtic. He was a big hit with the ladies as well as male fans. We remember our old chum and colleague Tom Shields going on a chartered plane of fans to a Celtic European tie where he remarked on the number of female supporters with “Henrik’s Ghirl” or “Henrik’s Lass” on their jerseys. A fan from Nitshill then told Tom: “See since I put that Henrik Larsson poster on the bedroom ceiling, our love life has never been better.”

Argument marred
FOLK are still getting agitated about the BBC paying men significantly more than women. As writer and broadcaster Libby Purves fumed yesterday: “Presenter Andrew Marr says he is paid for broadcast ‘experience’ and women are unlikely to have as much. Well while he was a trainee on The Scotsman I presented the Today programme!”
That’s you telt Andra.

Would Gary be chicken
FUNNY the things that become hot political issues. Minister Liam Fox was embroiled in an argument about whether the United States should be allowed to sell chlorine-washed chicken in Britain which is currently banned in the EU. As Jim in Troon commented: “I’m sure even Gary Lineker would have a struggle marketing Bleached Chicken flavoured crisps.”

Fantasy island
AND after the success of Love Island on the telly – don’t worry if you missed it – someone has suggested that the telly company will next be making Lone Island, about a friendless Great Britain begging any country anywhere to trade with it.

If the shoe fits
OUR story about well-polished shoes reminds Alan Barlow in Paisley: “A friend was over in Ireland for a funeral.  On his way back to the airport he stopped for petrol in a small village.  When he got out of the car he was aware that he was being watched by a local man who asked if he had been at a funeral by the manner of his dress.  He then went on to say that he must be a Presbyterian by the look of his shoes.  None the wiser my friend took his leave.”
 
Working it out
A READER in a Glasgow pub heard a young lad being asked by his pals how his job interview went. He wasn’t sure, but explained to them: “I had just sat down when the guy interviewing me immediately said, ‘So, why should we hire you?” I told him so that I could buy food and pay my rent. What was he expecting me to say?”