It’s been a good week for ... advent calendars

It seems the humble advent calendar is having a bit of a makeover. Gone are the days when chocolate-filled boxes were the height of indulgence, providing the ideal sugar rush before breakfast for already overexcited children in the run-up to Christmas.

Now retailers are battling for customers, with ever more extravagant offerings behind the doors of “luxury” ranges.

Fortnum & Mason is selling a wooden calendar filled with sweets and chocolate for £125, The Pip Stop is selling a calendar filled with 20cl bottles of wine (also £125) and Edinburgh Gin has one with 25 miniatures (a trifling £100). But you can also get a pork scratchings calendar from Debenhams, and Asda has a cheese version (surely a little stinky come December 24). You can buy treat calendars for pets, while for the DIY anoraks out there, the German tools company Wera has created a calendar in which you gradually assemble a screwdriver set (oh what fun).

Sigh. Can nothing escape the march of consumerism? I’ll be sticking to a cardboard version, thanks. I might push the boat out and go for one with a bit of glitter, the sparkly remnants of which will still be turning up in corners of the house come Easter. At least you get your money’s worth.

It’s been a bad week for ... advent calendars

I don’t recall the line in the Christmas story that says they wrapped the baby Jesus in swaddling pastry and laid him in a manger, but Greggs the bakers were keen to pick up on this theme.

The company has since apologised for swapping Jesus for a sausage roll in a promotional image for its advent calendar. It shows a nativity scene with three wise men gathered around said pastry instead of Christ.

Christian Twitter-users denounced the advert as disrespectful to their religion. "We're really sorry to have caused any offence," said Greggs. said: "This was never our intention," the firm said in a statement.

The picture was issued to promote a £24 advent calendar which includes vouchers to spend in its stores for each day. I’m intrigued as to what other images lie behind the doors of the baked-goods advent calendar.

The star shining brightly in the east? Probably a pie in the sky.