Kicked off

WE asked about stressful airport moments, and a reader in America tells us of a team from the US flying to the World Irish Dance Championships in Glasgow last year who were carrying their expensive dance dresses in suit bags as well as their normal carry-on luggage. An officious airline staff member insisted they check them into the hold which the girls resisted, fearing damage. After a hurried consultation the girls came up with the idea of putting the dresses on over their normal clothes, stuffed the empty suit bags in their hand luggage, then changed out of them once on the plane. The official was no doubt hopping mad.

In a spin

BRINGING up teenagers, continued. We hear of a Cambuslang teenager, finally forced into tidying his bedroom, who found so many of his clothes needing washed that he filled six bin-bags with them. Not wishing to show his mother the amount, and not knowing how the washing machine worked, he secretly phoned his gran who said of course that she would wash them. Not wanting his mum to find the bags, he put them outside the front door so that he could later drive over to his gran's with them. And then a charity collecting clothing donations gratefully picked them up.

Bit of a blow

THE Portugal Iran World Cup game got a bit tousy towards the end with players constantly haranguing the referee. Ed Hunter tells us: "It's not a new thing. Brian McGinley, the ex ref, tells the story of Aberdeen leading by a goal against Rangers with 89 minutes played. They are trying to keep the ball by the corner flag to waste time when Ian Ferguson takes the hump and puts in a life-threatening tackle. Pandemonium! McGinley and his linesman are trying to break up the ensuing melee and avoid widespread red cards. He decides to blow for time-up and get everyone up the tunnel. As he runs off the park Rangers manager Jock Wallace points at his watch and yells, 'It isnae full time McGinley! Whit's yir rush?'

"'I'm going to a wedding,' responds Brian. 'Is it yir Mither an Faither?' says Jock."

Thistle do

INCIDENTALLY, although Scotland is not at the World Cup, some Scots did make it. Eagle-eyed watchers of the Spain Morocco game noticed at the fourth goal being scored, the spectator just behind the goals wearing a black T-shirt with the statement emblazoned across the front "Glasgow As F***". We are informed that the chap is actually a holidaying Patrick Thistle supporter, so not the language you normally associate with erudite Jags fans.

In dog house

TRICKY thing technology. Eric Macdonald tells us he was visiting friends in Ireland, and as his wife was in the kitchen with their host, he decided to check the internet and shouted through to the kitchen: "What's the wifi password?" He heard the reply "Rollover" but couldn't get it to work. That was then he went into the kitchen and discovered they hadn't heard Eric, but the family dog was on his back doing his party trick when given the command "Rollover".

What's the line

SAYS Donald McLarty: "I note with interest the revival of the LNER name for the East Coast railway line. My father used to tell me that it stood for Late Never Early Railway – but that was many years ago. Of course it will have changed."

Bit of a blow

STILL great, but very warm, weather. Says Neil: "My wife likes it if I blow on her on days like this - but I'm not a fan."

QED

TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from a Hillhead reader who emails: "There's no point using Latin phrases if you don't understand what they mean, and vice versa."