THE SEX life of Britain has turned upside down. Teenagers, it’s been revealed, are having less unwanted pregnancies, because they are sexting more.
No doubt surveys will no be commissioned to work out the benefits to the teenage mind of virtual rumpy-pumpy.
Meanwhile, older people are having more sex, thanks to the arrival of the wee blue pill that can now be bought over the counter. Viagra has given the older man the chance to show he can still rise to the occasion, given a glass of water and a 20 minute wait.
However, older ladies, it seems are cursing the chemical aid for two reasons; some are upset that their aged partner has given up on reading Inspector Morse novels and playing crown bowls and are pestering them for bedroom fun. And there are others who would love a lady Viagra.
Let’s hope something arrives soon which offers grannies an alternative to crochet, or standing outside a court carrying a Poundshop banner which reads Congratulations! and singing that very song, hopelessy out of tune, for the world to cringe at.
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