Building a career
SO teenagers across Scotland got their exam results yesterday. We liked the reaction of builder David Wood who remarked on social media: “Number four son just phoned with his higher results. Four As and one B. That was my last chance to put the ‘And Son’ lettering on ma van.”
You ken now
WE mentioned former Glasgow MP Tom Harris resigning from the Labour Party. It reminds John Henderson: “In the late 1980s when I was the Labour agent in affluent Bath, Ken Loach, the left-wing filmmaker of Cathy Come Home fame, decided to hold a press conference to renounce his party membership, as he felt Neil Kinnock was moving the party too much to the centre.
“The trouble was, I had to inform Loach and the press that it was a bit difficult for me to react to him leaving because, despite several written reminders, he hadn’t paid his membership fees for three years, so technically he didn’t have a membership to renounce.”
Bugged
OUR colourful tales of infestations remind Willie Young of post-student days living in a west end flat with pals above a bakery, and having an influx of cockroaches.
Says Willie: “One of my flat-mates worked at United Biscuits where the pest control man suggested we put down bicarbonate of soda and sugar on baking foil. Successful? Fantastic.
“The only snag was we had to have the kitchen redecorated as the cockroaches exploded. What a sight when we turned on the light in the morning.”
On a date
A DENNISTOUN reader couldn’t help smiling when she heard a chap in her local tell his girlfriend: “Do you know, in the six months we’ve been going out, we’ve not agreed on one thing.”
“Seven,’ she replied.
Key question
GROWING old continued. A reader in Clarkston emails about the difficulties of using your computer as you get older: “You sometimes send the same e-mail twice, or you send it to the wrong person, or you forget to add the attachment, or you hit the ‘Send’ button before you’ve finishe”
A bit sick
OH what fun it must be to be a politician. Tory MSP Murdo Fraser, a prolific user of social media, wrote last month: “Absolute disgrace that the SNP are effectively going to close Perth Royal Infirmary A&E despite assurances given to me by the former Health Secretary. Residents are furious at this betrayal.”
When NHS Tayside repeated assurances yesterday that it was not going to close, the bold Murdo stated: “This is truly extraordinary. Who claimed the A&E was ‘closing’? Not the best of weeks for NHS Tayside!”
We think that’s the very definition of the Yiddish word “chutzpah”.
Hard to swallow
AMERICAN food chain Denny’s, known for serving giant breakfasts to the lonely and sometimes inebriated 24-hours a day, have announced they are going to open a branch in Glasgow.
At least their social media team has insight into the brand’s appeal. The other day they stated: “A pancake a day keeps your feelings of inadequacy away momentarily.”
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