A cracker

WE asked for moments that could only happen in Glasgow, and Anne Richmond in Burnside recalls: "I remember a bus driver one Christmas Eve shouting to another driver coming scarily close to his vehicle in Hope Street in Glasgow's city centre, 'Did youse get your licence oot a cracker?'"

They bonded

THE latest Scottish blockbuster, Outlaw King, about Robert the Bruce, will be released later this year on Netflix and also in a few cinemas. Might even be more historically accurate than Braveheart. The stirring trailer is already on Youtube, and Glasgow SNP councillor Mhairi Hunter says: "Seeing the trailer for the Robert the Bruce film makes me recall my dad's tale about approaching actor Sean Connery in a restaurant in the 70s when he was a bit drunk (dad that is) and telling him he should make a film about Robert the Bruce. Connery simply replied, '**** off'."

Boxing clever

WE mentioned our old chum David Belcher, onetime Herald writer and now playwright, and reader Stephen Murray recalls: "Many years ago David wrote a TV preview column in The Herald. One evening there was boxing on and David's preview read, 'Carpentry by Harry Commentator'. Still brings a chuckle."

Wooly thinking

EMBARRASSING moments, continued. Says Andy Ewan in Dunoon: "When I got up one morning during the winter, I dressed in the dark to avoid disturbing my wife. I then put on my outdoor jacket, added yesterday's clothing to the laundry basket, and headed sleepily up the road to the corner shop for my Herald. I was conscious of some strange looks from the few people I met en route, and the shop owner, but nobody said anything. It was only when I returned home and glanced in the hall mirror that I realised I had one of the previous day's pale-coloured socks dangling between my legs, caught on the Velcro fastening at the bottom of my jacket. I shudder to think what the people approaching me from distance must have thought."

Can't lick it

WE have returned often to things that make you feel old, and now David Donaldson expands the theme slightly by commenting on "things you seldom hear young people say." Suggests David: "Looks like we're running out of 2nd class stamps. I'll get some when I'm at the Post Office."

Perfect sense

A READER emails: “I asked my wife who the most handsome man in the world is and she replied, ‘Ewan McGregor’. I told her thanks, but she could only pick one.”

Crow about it

TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from Margaret Forbes in Kilmalcolm who tells us: "According to an article in The Herald, it is possible to train crows to pick up litter. They bring it to a central point and are rewarded with food. Now every time I see a crow I shout, 'Pick up litter, stop wandering about aimlessly'. It obviously works because we have no problem with litter in Kilmacolm."

Making a splash

DEAR oh dear. A reader sees the news story about the woman who was rescued after falling off a cruse ship and feels the need to phone us and declare: "Wouldn't it be great if it turned out her name was Eileen Dover?"