Pants

WE often debate whether being a teacher is wonderful or too difficult a job. As a Bishopbriggs reader tells us: "A teacher friend of mine was bemoaning classroom life being a struggle with the inattention and short concentration spans of his charges. He ended his diatribe with, 'It's the only job where you get paid for talking to yourself'."

And talking of children, reader John Rooney says: "My five-year-old nephew's birthday was approaching when he said to his mum, 'If I’m getting clothes for a present, don’t wrap them – it's too disappointing when you open them'."

Crumbs

SAD to hear of the death of erudite polymath Derek Watson who not only wrote biographies of composers, ran a bookshop, acted, but also cheerfully played keyboards at Glasgow Citizen Theatre pantos under the guise of "Uncle Derek." He once told The Herald that writing music for pantomimes was a great test of ingenuity. He added: ''You have to recognise the crisp factor. The minute the bags of crisps come out, you know you have lost them."

Smashing time

MEETING someone famous, continued. Says Geoff Inker in Newton Stewart: "In the sixties my band were to be the support act for the High Numbers, who later become The Who, at St Mary’s church hall in Hemel Hempstead. They had arrived first and set up on the tiny stage. With no room for our amps and drums we crossed the road to meet them in the local pub to ask if it was OK to use their gear. The answer was, yes of course 'but please be careful and don’t damage anything!' I mean, pot, kettle, black!"

Pains

AFTER our story about an elderly customer in a shop reciting all her medical complaints to a stranger, Gordon Casely says: "I’ve given up asking frail elderly people how they are. For a start, most of them are my contemporaries. Second, if I do ask them, back comes an endless list of aches and pains. The term coined for listening to such health woes can be called 'an organ recital'."

Blazing

VERY sorry to hear about the damage at the very proper and men-only membership Glasgow Golf Club at Killermont after a fire. It was perhaps churlish though of a former member to ask: "Would the fire have been more quickly dealt with if any female fire fighters present not had to wait for a male member to sign them in? And were the male fire fighters hindered by finding ties first before entering the clubhouse?" Very unfair, surely.

A drama

WE liked the remark of veteran actor Michael Caine in today's Radio Times who said he had contacted the BBC when writing his autobiography to ask if he could have a copy of one of his early TV outings. Said Michael: "I was told, ‘We don’t have one. We don’t have anything on the show.’ They were going through an economy drive and had re-used the tape. I just thought, ‘Bloody hell – taping over a great little drama just to save a few quid.’”

Healthy option

SO did you watch the ending of the tense TV series Bodyguard? As Tommy Walters remarked: "How more British can you get that the final scenes in the biggest drama series in 20 years are a trip to occupational health and driving away in a Nissan."

Oh God

OUR Diary stories in Saturday's paper about storms reminded Jim McDonald in Carluke of his honeymoon some years ago in Oban when their car was damaged during a raging storm by guttering blown off a nearby building. Says Jim: "The guttering that had caused the damage had fallen off a building owned by the Church of Scotland. The insurer wouldn’t pay out because the storm damage was classed as an 'Act of God'. A strange paradox."