God save us

THE HERALD nostalgia picture of Red Clydesider Harry McShane receiving the Freedom of the City award in Glasgow in 1984 noted that The Herald story at the time recorded that "traditional expressions of loyalty to Queen and country were discreetly omitted.”

Our old chum John MacCalman, who covered the event back then, says the ceremony was due to end with the playing of the British national anthem. A few folk in the audience felt it should be omitted as Communist Harry had no time for the royal family.

The organisers were still insistent on the anthem, but just before it was due, the trio of musicians hired for the day mysteriously disappeared, so no anthem was heard. They returned a short while later and played I Belong To Glasgow instead.

Going her duster

A GLASGOW reader swears to us that he heard a woman on the bus into the city tell her pal: "I've already started decorating the house for Hallowe'en – a've no dusted furra week."

Dodgy

WE mentioned Theresa May's plans for a Festival of Britain after Brexit, and SNP MP Peter Grant at least concedes: "I suppose we should be grateful that this Prime Minister wants to try and boost her plummeting credibility by organising a festival instead of a war."

Meanwhile reader John Henderson's suggestions for attractions to be mounted at the Festival include:

*The Have-Your-Cake-and-Eat-it Stall.

*Pin the Blame on a Remainer.

*Tax Dodgems.

*The Sacked Race.

Doing a runner

TALKING of politics, The Herald's front page yesterday had a picture of Tory MP Boris Johnson running through a field in a parody, it seems, of Theresa May who said running through a wheat-field was the naughtiest thing she did as a child.

A reader emails us: "As Boris mocks the naughtiest thing Theresa May has done, May responds by making multiple insensitive diplomatic statements, wastes millions of pounds on a bridge, babbles incoherently, has several affairs and bets the whole UK on a promotion."

Mark my words

FORMER Rangers winger Mark Walters was in Glasgow this week promoting his biography, Wingin' It. Our old colleague, sports writer Stewart Weir recounts: "I was in the company of former Rangers striker Kevin Drinkell once when someone described Walters as a 'one-trick pony.' 'Aye, but what a trick it must have been when it worked every time,' replied Drinks. Can't disagree."

Snap chat

MODERN dilemmas caused by social media – wails writer Katy Wix with tongue in cheek: "My friend has a really nice picture of me on her phone, but she won’t post it anywhere and I don’t know what to do."

Dirty drinking

DOWANHILL bar The Sparkle Horse is to open a sister pub, The Bell Jar, in Govanhill on Glasgow's south side. We should perhaps recall the story of why The Sparkle Horse, famed for its quiz nights, sells a cocktail with the punning name The Partick Swayze.

It was in fact the name of a quiz team that came second one quiz night and its name was chalked behind the bar alongside the cash amount they still had to spend on drink from their winnings.

Three American tourists came in, thought it was a drinks list and asked for "Three Partick Swayzes". The barman quickly made up a cocktail to serve them and it has been on offer ever since.

That's a rap

ARE you trying to keep up with all the name changes of American rappers? Neil Bratchpiece explains: "Puff Daddy changed his name to Diddy, Kanye West has changed his name to Ye. I'm convinced rapper/producers are obsessed with Scottish slang, and based on this evidence I eagerly await the comeback album from Dr Dreich."