Humans are, it seems, fairly adept at spotting other humans who are acutely ill or becoming sick. New research found that 52 per cent of participants guessed correctly when shown photographs of individuals who were ill. The primary identifiers were features such as pale lips, drooping eyelids, down-turned mouth and pallor. The results of the study – co-authored by Prof John Axelsson of the University of Stockholm – add weight to the theory that being able to tell whether a person is well gives us an evolutionary advantage by allowing us to choose healthy partners and avoid contagion from those suffering infection.

Interestingly, those participating in the research were much more accurate when identifying healthy individuals than sick ones, and guessed correctly 70 per cent of the time.

While reading facial cues to detect illness or health may be possible within a five-second glance, reading minds (and hearts) is altogether more complex. Empathic accuracy (being able to assess what a person is feeling) is more subjective, often heavily tinted by our own history of experience, thinking and the mood we are in. There are always emotional zones that are difficult or "no go" areas for us and so we tend to avoid them in others by shutting down or "not reading" what is really going on with someone. The reverse can also be true when, unconsciously, we seek out or misread emotions in others that we are unable to allow ourselves to feel.

Because we often feel vulnerable and fear that others may have an advantage over us if we are totally honest in disclosing what we are feeling and thinking, we learn to conceal or, at least, heavily edit, our inner, authentic voice. Ask yourself this: how often – when asked how you are feeling or thinking – do you give a truly honest answer? My guess is that most of us are a lot less honest than we think.

The editing process starts early in life when we learn how to respond to our parents by reading their minds through observing tone of voice, expression in their eyes, the words they say or don’t say. As young children, we need and want love and one way of getting it is to please our parents and carers. By the age of three, we have a sense of what will invoke approval or disapproval and so we shape our behaviour and communications along these lines. By the time we are fully-fledged grown-ups, our emotional filtering processes are highly-developed and we become our own PR expert (or so we’d like to believe).

Of course, there are things that are just plain inappropriate to say out loud, not least because our thoughts and feelings are not always rational (or printable). The darker the thoughts, the lighter and nicer the front we present to the outside world. Our inner dialogue is often chaotic and by no means linear. It can create scenarios that shock and shame us and make us profoundly relieved to know that no-one can read our mind so accurately that it would render all our innermost thoughts transparent.

But there are times when it’s really heartening and someone says: “You say you’re fine, but you don’t seem fine.” When this kind of mind-reading is offered up in a non-invasive and compassionate way, it allows us to take off the mask of our false persona and say it how it is. The paranoid edge that tapers our thinking is sometimes misplaced, often originating in past experiences where we have felt manipulated, duped or humiliated.

Letting go a bit and sharing what you actually feel and think, is liberating in its own way. To do this, we need to trust not so much others (although it helps), but rather ourselves and our own judgment. If we are unable to do this, we are essentially vulnerable and fair game for the manipulative kind of mind-reading that masquerades as "concern". There will always be bits of us that are not for public consumption and which form the cornerstones of our personal integrity. That said, there is nothing to fear in allowing others some insight into who we truly are. You can be fairly certain that they, too, harbour similar vulnerabilities and fears about how acceptable and loveable they are in the minds of others.