Driven man
TAKE That crooner Gary Barlow has announced he has a part in the next Star Wars film. A reader innocently asks: “Will he play Darth’s other son, Taxi Vader?”

Adding colour to politics
NICOLA Sturgeon and Theresa May met in Glasgow yesterday with onlookers commenting they looked like a before and after advertisement for a tanning salon as Theresa was particularly pale, and Nicola looked as though she had overdone the season ticket to her local Tanfastic salon.
Anyway, Chris McPhail passes on an excerpt from the Prime Minister’s planner: “Monday: Talk about why unions are amazing. Wednesday: Trigger legislation to leave a union. Thursday: Scratch head.”

Drowning his sorrows
TALKING of Brexit, reader David Will brings it all home to us by revealing: “My Brexit fears really hit home last Friday. My weekly treat of a pint of Riegeler German Lager, in a west end pub, increased in price from £4.50 to £4.90.”

Egging her on
GROWING old continued. A Newton Mearns reader emails: “With Easter coming, my wife remarked that with the kids 
all grown up and away, she missed the Easter egg hunts we used to stage. So I said we could always hide each other’s pills in the morning.”

Stating it plainly
A GLASGOW reader  in his local heard the latest chapter in the constant attempt by the two sexes to understand each other. One of the locals told him: “I told the wife she looked very pretty today. So apparently what I really said was, ‘You look ugly every day except for today’.”

What a pantomime
OUR trip down memory lane was mentioning that pantos at the Citz in Glasgow used to have 13-letter names. West end singing teacher and opera performer Jim McJannet remembers as a young boy going to see The Tintock Cup there in 1947 and tells us: “It was so popular it 
ran until May and you were an outcast in Glasgow if you hadn’t seen it. “Mind you, I don’t think there was much else happening in Glasgow then.”
One of the many highlights, says Jim, was a lugubrious Duncan Macrae in satin dress and luxurious blonde wig singing about not getting a lumber at the dancing.

It doesn’t add up
ANOTHER take on raising ildren as a Dumbarton reader tells us: “My younger son says he can’t do his sums at school but give him a slice of pepperoni pizza and he can tell you instantly if you’ve given his brother a slice with more bits of pepperoni.”

On the plus side
A SIGN of the times says a Hyndland reader who heard a woman meet her pal in a Byres Road coffee shop and tell her that she was looking good. “Thanks,” replied her pal, “I think it’s the divorce.”

The Glasgow look
GREAT weather in Glasgow yesterday although not everyone impressed. Declared Lynne Cooney on social media: “Loving the Glasgow sunshine – the half-naked pasty Ibiza wannabees, not so much.”