In the soup

STEVEN Camley’s cartoon of the soup tin yesterday reminded Bruce Henderson in Straiton, Ayrshire: “In the 1950s, we celebrated our engagement at Reo Stakis’s newly opened Ca’Dora Restaurant in Union Street to enjoy his French menu.

“We both ordered Creme de Pompador as a starter. As the Glaswegian waitress kicked open the kitchen door, she shouted, ‘Two toma’a soups’.”

In the wash

THAT great Glasgow play The Steamie is 30 years old, and is being revived at The King’s Theatre in Glasgow this October. When it was first performed by Wildcat, director Alex Norton explained to The Herald that it was set in a wash-house. “Genuine props like scrubbing boards and sinks are there,” said Alex who added: “It was too complicated to provide water as well, which is a pity as we could have got the company’s laundry done at the same time.”

Bagging the thief

WE hold our hands up to running bank robbery stories, and Gerry McElroy in Cumbernauld says: “I heard about a robbery in a Shettleston shop where an arrest was made. The shopkeeper was taken to the police station to identify the suspect, but he said he couldn’t as he had put a paper bag over his head. Whereupon a constable was sent to the Co-op next door, returned with a paper bag, put it on the accused’s head and the shopkeeper immediately said, ‘Yes, that’s him’.”

Duly noted

JAMES Doleman’s favourite exchange from the Craig Whyte trial at the High Court in Glasgow yesterday - Advocate depute: “Did you use a notebook?”

Gary Withey: “Yes.”

Advocate depute: “For what purpose?”

Gary Withey: “To take notes.”

Time to pipe up

MORE on pipe bands as Sion Barrington tells us: “As MC for Stirling Highland Games some years ago, I was seriously lacking a pipe band as it grew closer to Provost Wood making his opening address. Reporting this lost band at the Central Scotland Police caravan, I was told that I really needed the secretary’s tent, not their problem.

“That was until I mentioned it was actually the Central Scotland Police Pipe Band which was missing.”

Grassed up

OUR story about the old golfer reminds Stewart Little: “I once enquired of a golfer loading his clubs into his car if he had had a good round. His reply was, ‘Any round is good as long as I am this side of the grass’.”

Took it in her stride

ALRIGHT, we give in. Great swathes of readers have asked why we have not recounted the classic police horse in Glasgow story amongst our horse yarns. So for the sake of nostalgia, it is of course the female mounted police officer at Hampden holding back the crowds as one fan shouts up to her: “Your horse is sweatin’!”

Altogether now: “So would you be if you’d been between ma legs all mornin’” she shouted back.