A bit of a dalliance

THE news that arguably Glasgow’s most famous painting, Salvador Dali’s Christ of St John of the Cross is to go to London on loan reminds us of children’s entertainer Mr Boom’s meeting with Salvador.

Before he was Mr Boom, a young Andy Munro played in a jazz band in Catalonia, Spain, which was invited to play for Salvador Dali. They weren’t sure what to kick off with and Andy came up with the inspired suggestion of their own version of Hello Dolly, entitled Hello Dali.

“He didn’t get the joke,” Andy later admitted.

The bigger issue

A GLASGOW reader heard a chap in his local musing to his pals: “It’s funny isn’t it. You meet someone’s wee kid you’ve not seen for a while and everyone’s all smiles when you say, ‘Goodness, look how big you’ve got’.

“But say it to an ex girlfriend and all hell breaks loose.”

You’ve got to roll with it

WE don’t know if it’s an Edinburgh thing, but Tom Strang was looking at the Royal Mile Luxury Rooms on the hotel website booking.com and read that facilities included “linen, TV, toilet paper.”

Is it only in Edinburgh that they would brag about supplying it?

Bit of a blow

WE asked what you did in school, but never again afterwards and Dave Bertin in Arnprior suggests: “Playing a recorder and pretending it’s musical” while Alan Brown, now in Perth, Australia, says: “Carrying your chairs out to the playground to work because it was too nice a day.”

Height of nonsense

AND our yarn about school toilets reminds a reader: “I saw, not in primary school, but on the wall of a public toilet in Australia years ago, a message which read, ‘Look up’. Higher still was another message, ‘Look up’. Finally on the ceiling was written, ‘You are now peeing on your left foot’.”

Fairy nuff

A READER in America sends us a cutting from the Twin Cities Pioneer Press where a writer tells of visiting Skye and being told by the tour guide not to remove anything from the Fairy Glen as it would anger the fairies.

A woman who took a small stone as a souvenir couldn’t find her camera and the tour bus went back to search for it before she found it had slipped down a hole in her jacket’s lining.

What we liked about the story is that the tour guide, instead of losing his rag at the delay, told her: “It’s the fairies playing tricks on you.”

Run that past him

AN AYRSHIRE reader was discussing keeping fit at his local golf club where an older member declared: “The first time I see a jogger smiling, then I’ll think about jogging.”

Snooper’s charter

PARENTING continued. A south side reader says she can’t understand why people complain about their teenage children not keeping their rooms tidy. She tells us: “I only have to tell my son that I’m going up to clean his room as I love snooping through his stuff, and before you know it, he’s up there doing it himself.”