Pipe down there
BIG political news yesterday was the leaders of the Democratic Unionist Party meeting Theresa May in Downing Street. As a reader phoned to explain: “Theresa May is caught between the devil and the DUP.”
More fanciful was the reaction of another reader who claimed that the new James Bond film will be re-written to highlight the influence of the DUP. He tells us: “007 will walk onto the screen and announce, ‘The name’s Bond. Flute Bond’.”
Bamboozled
CLOSER to home, Scotland’s maverick Ukip MEP David Coburn has announced he wants to become the new Ukip leader. As SNP MEP Alyn Smith commented, a tad acerbically: “Cometh the hour, cometh the bam.”
Colourful story
OUR story of the DUP quizzing a Labour MP’s religious background, reminds retired publican Ron Fretwell of taking over a bar in Coatbridge, and telling the group of Rangers fans that came in on his first day that he did not allow football colours to be worn.
Things could have got a bit heated when one of them said loudly: “He must be a Catholic,” however another fan then declared: “No, I think he’s English” and that somehow seemed to satisfy them.
Quizzing your customers
IT was announced yesterday that the council has agreed to fund a £7m improvement scheme for Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow. We have always found the thoroughfare very down to earth and recall the Sauchiehall Street pub that put a noticeboard outside which stated: “Quiz night - nae smart arses’’.
Taking the heat
AN Ayrshire reader tells us he was in his golf club bar when a younger player was talking enthusiastically about his fitness regime. As he left the bar, an older member further along commented: “The last time I burned a thousand calories was when I forgot to keep an eye on the steak pie in the oven.”
An empty vessel
WE like it when new technology is combined with old technology. Alan Barlow in Paisley was in his local when a fellow customer wanted folk to hear something he had recorded on his mobile phone, but some couldn’t make it out.
So the chap put the phone in an empty pint tumbler which gave it sufficient amplification.
Turning Japanese
TOO early for us, but reader David Campbell tells us: “Early morning Channel 4 viewers are getting to grips with a new batch of Japanese phrases which pop up during adverts, such as ‘Hajimemashite’, pronounced ‘ha jimmy mash tay’ and means ‘Nice to meet you’. Scots visiting Japan need to be very careful when greeting folk or the intended friendliness might be lost.”
Shopping around
AGAIN we caution against relationship advice from a Glasgow bar, but a reader tells us the young chap in his local was claiming: “Don’t look to meet women in bars, go to Silverburn shopping centre instead. The ratio is ten women to every man, and they are already looking for things they don’t need.”
He’s a keeper
SPORTS news, and Sunderland keeper Jordan Pickford will become the most expensive keeper in Britain if he signs for Everton with a figure of £30m being bandied about.
However Irish bookies Paddy Power put the signing in perspective by stating: “Pickford’s move to Everton is £18m up front, plus a further £12m based on how successful the club is over next few years.
“So £18m then.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here