A trick or a treat

PARENTING teenagers continued. A Hillhead reader tells us her friend is at loggerheads with her teenage daughter and has stopped washing her daughter’s clothes until she helps more around the house.

“At the rate she goes through outfits,” says the mother, “she’ll be down to wearing Hallowe’en costumes by next week.”

Flushed with success

THE death of film critic Barry Norman reminds us of when actress Julie Nimmo from children’s show Balamory was on the cover of the Radio Times with fellow Balmorians, and was invited to an annual Radio Times cover stars’ party where she met Barry.

She asked how many Radio Times covers he had been on and he replied in his trademark measured tones: “Nine - and I keep them all in my toilet.”

May or may not

PRIME Minister’s Questions in Westminster yesterday was the usual shouting match between Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn. As John O’Farrell commented: “Corbyn should read out a letter from a ‘Theresa from Westminster’ who’s very worried about losing her job and the home that goes with it.”

For services rendered

OUR getting old theme reminded an Ayrshire reader of when he owned a Ford Escort, which sadly the automobile company no longer produces. He tells us: “I’d put it in my local garage to have the oil changed and the brakes checked. My then girlfriend started an angry argument with me when she glanced at the hall table and saw a sheet of paper on which was written ‘Bill for Escort Service’.”

A political football

OK, we can’t delay it any longer. Rangers. Shouldn’t really kick someone when they are down, but Danny Baker had a go with: “Rangers have been dumped out of Europe by a team from a country that you could completely carpet, with underlay, for under £75.”

And Bruce Skivington wonders if Rangers were merely expressing their unionism by getting out of Europe even quicker than the Tories.

Radio Ga-ga

YES that team from Luxembourg. Observes John Henderson: “Back in the day, when I was but a lad, I used to pull the covers over my head to listen to the radio coming from Luxembourg. I dare say many Rangers fans were similarly pulling the covers over their heads the other night when listening to the radio from Luxembourg.”

The young ones

A READER in a Glasgow pub at the weekend overheard a group of chums berating a pal for going out with a girl that was far too young for him.

“What do you base that on?” he argued with them.

“Based on the number of times the earth has orbited the sun since she was born,” a pal shot back.

What a way to go

SHAME sat nav means we no longer ask for directions. Andy Gallagher in Langside once set himself up for a Glasgow comic when he stopped his car in Highburgh Road in Hyndland and asked a passing pedestrian how he could get to Jordanhill College.

“Without hesitation, he told me, ‘You’ll need your Highers son’.”

Made my head spin

A COLLEAGUE spots I’d not been in the office for a few days and feels the need to saunter over and tell me: “Recreate the feeling of being in a multi-storey car park by driving around in circles with a piece of paper in your mouth.”