The Road to Renfrew

THE Herald archive picture of film star Dorothy Lamour in Glasgow reminds Dale Wallace: “As a 14-year-old in 1950 I was on the slipway of the Renfrew Ferry on the way to the Renfrew baths when a big limo appeared waiting to cross. A very glamorous lady came out and started talking to those on the slip.

“A man informed us that was Dorothy Lamour. She had been to Singer’s sewing machine factory for the sports day. When we went back to school I told my mates that I saw Dorothy Lamour waiting for the Renfrew Ferry. ‘Aye, that’ll be right!’ was the response’.”

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She has it taped

GLASGOW’S Susan Calman was all dolled up yesterday for a red carpet appearance by this year’s Strictly Come Dancing contestants. As she later commented on her chances of winning, the diminutive comedian said: “To do well on Strictly I may need to be more ‘tabloid’. ‘Coughs’. In 1991 I was late returning Pupper Master to Azad Video. I paid the fine.”

What she needed

MARGIE Dobson tells us: “Hirpling home after a fairly strenuous walk with the dog this morning, I noticed the number plate 999 HUG. Nearly flagged it down!”

Trumped his wall

TROUBLING scenes in Texas where folk are having to cope with rising flood water. American Erik Bransteen mused: “Instead of spending a huge amount of dollars to build a wall between Texas and Mexico, maybe Donald Trump could spend the money on building a wall between Houston and the Gulf of Mexico.”

Uphill struggle

DESPITE Edinburgh trams being regarded as an expensive nightmare when they first opened, plans to build a £165 million extension may go ahead. We remember a year after it opened, the boss of the tram company admitted “it’s been a rollercoaster”. Local crime writer Ian Rankin couldn’t resist commenting: “Now THAT I would go on!”

Lowering his expectations OUR tale of the late, great Glasgow poet Ivor Cutler reminds a reader of the story radio presenter Andy Kershaw told of booking Ivor to appear at Leeds University when Andy was entertainment convener. Andy said he offered Ivor £500 to appear. “Lower,” Ivor replied, not wishing to put to much financial pressure on students.

He then offered to be put up in a student hostel rather than in a hotel.

The cherry on top

A PAISLEY reader tells us a group of auld timers in his local were discussing what really expensive item they would buy if they won the Lottery. One of them declared: “Printer ink and organic cherries. Have you seen the price of them?”

Just champion

FORMER Celtic player Chris Sutton is making a name for himself as a controversial football commentator on the telly. He is accused however of always having a go at Rangers. A supporter of the Ibrox club contacted Chris on social media and asked: “Is there a football agenda you can talk about without dragging Rangers into? You’re obsessed.”

Chris merely replied: “Champions League?” Ouch!

Saw him coming

STILL failing to dodge a colleague who comes over to tell us: “Fell into the lens grinding machine at a glasses factory. Made a complete spectacle of myself.”