GLASGOW Airport is attempting to reunite owners with their lost teddy bears that have accumulated at the airport. A Glasgow reader tells us that years ago a neighbour gave his young daughter an enormous pink teddy bear for her birthday, but he was not keen on it as it was stuffed with polystyrene spheres that he felt could be a choking hazard.

His solution was to quietly slip it into the bin, hoping the neighbour would not ask about it. His guile, alas, was undone the following week when the bin lorry roared into the street with said pink bear tied to the front grille.

Dishing it out

OUR story about keeping offices clean reminds Patricia Watson: “In the first floor staff kitchen at Renfrewshire Enterprise an exasperated staff member put up a notice saying, ‘Wash your own dishes and put them away. Your mother doesn’t work here’. Next day someone had written on it, ‘No, but there are plenty of other women’.”

No leg to stand on

ONLY in Glasgow, perhaps. John Swadel was at the Barrowland concert of boisterous American band LCD Soundsystem when during one anthem, strobe lights were flashed on the audience, who started punching their arms up in unison. John looked towards the back of the hall where someone was punching two crutches into the air, and he wondered if this was an indication of the healing powers of modern dance music.

Lots of baggage

IT is the 50th anniversary of Stirling University, and we recall how the out-of-town campus attracted well-off English students. One young girl arriving seemed to have a lot of stuff with her, and when asked about it she replied: “Yes, I know. Daddy had to organise the family to bring all the cars.”

And another English student shopping in the local supermarket with her family explained: “I told you they don’t all talk like Taggart.”

Seeing red

SAD to hear of the death of former Glasgow Tory MP Teddy Taylor, who was an extremely charming man despite his right-wing views – it must have been his time as a Herald journalist. Teddy was wise enough in Thatcher’s day not to actually put the word Conservative on his election leaflets, and when asked why his Cathcart leaflet was printed in red, he merely replied he felt the colour stood out. Folk who voted for him thinking he was Labour, well that was just an unfortunate error.

Let’s face it

FOLK are still discussing the new iPhone X, which uses facial recognition to unlock it. A Glasgow reader heard one young woman ask: “So would I use my first-thing-in-the-morning face or my full make-up face?”

Gimme shelter

READER John Mulholland wonders why it is taking so long to build new shelters for the residents of the British Virgin Islands left homeless after the hurricane when the wealthy have for years been able to set up tax shelters there so easily.

That’ll be the day

A GLASGOW reader heard a philosopher in his local pub declare: “Nothing ruins your Friday like suddenly realising it’s Thursday.”

Flight of fancy

TODAY’S idle musing comes from a Bearsden reader who remarks: “Do you know, the first person who ever heard a parrot speak must have got the fright of his life.”