That sinking feeling

WE mentioned the sad demise of former Tory MP in Glasgow, Teddy Taylor. Dennis Canavan, who was a Labour MP in Westminster at the same time, tells us how Teddy attracted working class voters. Says Dennis: "A Labour canvasser in Castlemilk was trying to convert a council house tenant who said she was going to vote for Mr Taylor. The Labour man said, 'Don’t you realise that Taylor is a right wing reactionary Tory who wants to bring back hanging and flogging?' The wee wifie replied, 'Aye, Ah ken, son, but he got ma sink fixed when yer Labour Cooncillor wis naewhere tae be seen'."

A low point

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WE also pointed out that Teddy had briefly been a Herald journalist, and Alan Sinclair in Bearsden recalls: "Teddy once explained that on arrival at the Herald he was appointed to a section under the leadership of a crabbit wee man whose task was to edit the weather forecasts, fish prices, and tide tables. One day the wee man summoned one of Teddy's colleagues, someone like himself, not long out of the Uni. ‘Hey you’, he cried, ‘Yer tide tables yesterday were a’ wrang. John Brown’s shipyerd had a launch. And whit happened? - Nae watter!'"

Sleep inducing

A BEARSDEN reader tells us she was at a dinner party where a doctor was loudly pontificating about his holidays before turning to his work, and remarking that he had to put a patient into an induced coma. "What did you do?" asked a fellow dinner guest. "Tell him about your trip to India?"

Cutting remark

PLANS have been announced to have a statue to South African leader Nelson Mandela erected in Glasgow, the first place in Britain to give him the Freedom of the City. We still recall when Nelson arrived in Glasgow for the ceremony, the late lamented Crocket's Ironmongers in West Nile Street had a sign in its window stating: "Mr Mandela - get your spare keys to the city cut here."

No brainer

THE old saying is that success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. Foster Evans tells us that the saying has been updated for the modern age and is now: "Sometimes success is 3% brains and 97% not getting distracted by the internet."

Didn't he do well

READER Jim Morrison, following the death of entertainer Bruce Forsyth, tells us that years ago two friends from Hilton Park Golf Club were on a golfing holiday in England and had booked a round at the club where Brucie was a member. Seeking lunch afterwards, they were directed to the dirty bar where the could get a sandwich as they couldn't go into the dining room without a jacket and tie.

Bruce himself walked into the dirty bar and shouted a genial "Afternoon gents" at the two visitors. "Hello Bruce," replied one of the Glaswegians. "Have you not got a jaicket either?"

Down in the dumps

RELATIONSHIP difficulties, continued. A Glasgow reader tells us a young chap in his local at the weekend was telling his pals: "So my girlfriend got angry and said her last boyfriend had dumped her by text message, and wasn't that terrible. So I said that when I dumped her I would definitely do it face to face. But she still didn't seem happy."