Taking a break

THE Herald archive picture of the Gorbals cemetery reminds David Miller in Milngavie of theatre comic Alex Finlay coming on stage as a wee Kirk Elder and talking of Gorbals gravestone inscriptions which included "Here lies Kate McBurney. She fell aff a train and broke her journey", and the poignant "I couldn't live upon the dole. That's why I'm lying in this hole."

Having a word

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TECHNOLOGY continued. An exasperated Mosspark reader tells us: "So a shopping site I use on-line asked for my password. The one I put in was wrong. I tried another, then another, both wrong. So I went through the palaver of requesting a new password. When I put it in, the computer said it couldn't be the old password.

"I had to walk away before I smashed the computer."

Mayday!

NOT a good conference speech from Prime Minister Theresa May who had to deal with a persistent cough, a comedian's P45 jape, and the letters on the wall behind her falling down. As a reader, not a fan we suspect, put it: "I tried to work out if Theresa May coughed every time she told lie, but I couldn't keep up." More eloquent was writer Tom Jamieson who commented: "Theresa May looked like someone making tortured small talk whilst trying to work out how to break it to you that they've run over your dog."

And as First Minister Nicola Sturgeon rather cutely put it: "Spare a thought for those of us still to deliver our conference speech and now fretting about all the things that could go wrong."

Taking the strain

AN AYSHIRE reader passes on the comment from an old club member in the bar which he thinks some reader will agree with. The chap declared: "My tolerance for stupidity right now is extremely low. I though I had some immunity built up but apparently there is a new strain out there."

A bit snakey

A GLASGOW reader hearing some lads in his local discussing job interviews and passes on: "One drinker said he was asked at an interview to give an example of when he had showed leadership skills. All he could come up with is that he had started a conga at his sister's wedding that went right round the hall."

On message

WE keep our head down but a colleague nevertheless traps us in the corridor to pass on some wisdom. "Quadruple the chances," he says, "of an email being read by issuing a 'Would like to recall this email' message right afterwards."

Bit of a card

OUR mention of postcards reminds Thelma Edwards in Kelso of her daughter sending her postcards with cheeky messages in the hope that the postman would read them. Says Thelma: "I once received one with the message, 'Happy to hear that you are pregnant again. Who is the father?' I was 58 and my late husband was then 69. He was not amused."

Fly guy

TODAY'S piece of daftness comes from David Russell who says: "Could Ryanair be described as a receding airline? OK, I'll get ma coat."