Cross to bear

VISITORS to Kelvingrove Art Gallery are disappointed that they can't see Salvador Dali's stunning painting Christ of St John of the Cross as it is on loan to the Royal Academy in London. A volunteer guide at Kelvingrove tells us that "Where is the Dali?" is the second most popular question she is asked there. We wonder what the most asked question is. "Where are the toilets?" she reveals.

Going for a song

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VETERAN Celtic rockers Runrig are holding their final gig in Stirling next year they have announced, before retiring. The band of course has changed a bit over its 45-year-history. When singer Donnie Munro left to stand for Labour in the Scottish Parliament elections (failed) and Pete Wishart aimed at Westminster for the SNP (elected) new singer Bruce Guthro went on stage at Celtic Connections and announced: "We want to sing songs relevant to the people - not songs about sailors kissing mermaids, but songs about disillusioned musicians running away to be politicians."

Currying favour

IT'S National Curry Week, and reader Tom Walker recalls: "In the 70s when Indian menus in Scotland did not include onion bhajis we took an English relative to an Indian restaurant in Paisley where she asked for bhajis as a starter. The waiter looked puzzled and went off to fetch the manager who in turn fetched the chef.

"After much discussion with my visitor as to what a bhaji might be, the manager eventually said, 'Aw missus, that's English food'."

Down in the dumps

GLASGOW journalist Paul English was on assignment in Michigan last week where he visited the home of college football team the Michigan Wolverines in the picturesque college town Ann Arbor. He noticed that the stadium is on Keech Avenue which he thought was a place many a Scottish football fan has been at quarter-to-five on a Saturday afternoon.

Pointless card

WE mentioned the dwindling art of sending postcards and Robert Gardner tells us: "My first holiday abroad was at a Scout Jamboree in Greece when I was 16. I had been told that a postcard was expected, and after a few days I sent one packed with information about how I was getting on and so on. When I got home there was the card marked out of 10 for punctuation and grammar. From then on postcards were sent with one word only - 'Fine'."

It's a dog's life

A WEST End reader confesses to us: "We had the kitchen modernised and had a garbage disposal fitted for the first time. I now mainly switch it on to cover the sound of me opening the fridge in order to stop our Labrador bounding through looking for food."

Screen saver

A MUIREND reader tells us he was on the train into town when he heard a young traveller tells his pal: "Did you see that Netflix have raised their monthly fee? The person whose password I'm secretly using is going to be really annoyed."

Laboured point

IT'S becoming quite a tussle for the Scottish Labour leadership as Richard Leonard goes toe-to-toe with Anas Sarwar. Bruce Skivington reads the on-line heading on The Herald website that "the shadow of racism" is creeping into the leadership contest and muses: "Hardly surprising when an Englishman is standing against a Glaswegian."

It's pants

IT'S the curse of working on a Sunday when the office is less busy. A colleague easily tracks me down and declares: "My supposedly lucky underpants are rubbish. If anything I seem to have less luck with women the longer I wear them."