Egged on

RESTAURANT chain Wimpy has plans to expand after years of cutbacks, and we wonder if they will reopen in Glasgow as Wimpy was the first place many older Glaswegians first had a coffee outside their home. A reader once told us that he went into a Wimpy which had a sign stating "Free fried egg with every order" as it was hoping this would enhance folk's dining experience. He thought nothing of it as he was only in for a takeaway coffee but as he was leaving he was handed a brown paper bag – and, yes, the fried egg was inside it.

Parklife

GROWING old continued. A Bearsden reader says his children were telling him that they were thinking of putting a wooden bench in his local park to commemorate him after he dies – although they all hoped it wouldn't be soon – and started arguing over what dedication to put on the small brass plate. Our reader says he told them that he merely wanted it to state "Wet Paint" as he liked the idea of the confusion it would cause.

And, talking of park benches, a west end reader says that if you are sitting on a bench and someone sits down beside you, he always thought it would be fun to continue staring straight ahead and ask the person: "Did you bring the money?"

Gives me the pip

READERS frequently comment on the tribulations of parenthood. As Chris Ramsey comments: "You think you know high pressure situations? Try peeling a big orange for a screaming toddler who thinks you're just stealing it."

Vegging out

SAD to see The Herald news story that a third of training places for GPs in Scotland is unfilled. We feel that young medics are wrong in thinking that general practice is not exciting enough. We recall the GP in Argyllshire who was called to a settlement of New Age travellers where a woman was having a baby on a rickety old bus as she wanted a home delivery and her partner had once been an orderly in the Royal Army Medical Corps. However, the doc was called as the proud father was lying unconscious on the bus floor after being KO'd by a turnip thrown by the angry pain-racked mother annoyed by his clumsy ministrations.

And, while the baby was being delivered by the doc, the rest of the encampment were standing outside the bus chanting "Here we go, here we go!"

Any other GP stories?

Railroaded

TRAVELLERS in Scotland's main railway stations will have heard the latest automatic announcement about reporting unattended items. Says reader Mark Boyle: "On the subject of ScotRail's 'See it, say it, sorted' promise, on behalf of anyone that's ever experienced the reception one gets should they report any matter untoward to ScotRail staff, may I suggest the phrase is changed to 'See it, say it, sod it'?"

Suits you

OUR story about STV presenter Bill Tennent rapidly donning a dinner jacket to make a speech reminds Jim Scott: "Sports broadcaster Dougie Donnelly was a speaker at The Welding Institute Dinner – I know, I live the high life – and he said as he was leaving the house with his dinner suit to come to the dinner his daughter said, 'Daddy why are you wearing that suit? You know you're always ill the next day when you wear it'."