Glass half full
THE STUC Women's Conference took place in Glenrothes this week where guest speaker Susan Morrison commented on a teacher who had told the delegates that teachers were under such stress these days that many reached for a glass of wine when they got home. "If I was a teacher," said stand-up Susan, "I'd be pouring it over my cornflakes in the morning."
Toying with us
HARD to keep track of all the allegations of sexual wrongdoings at Westminster just now. A reader sees the headline on Sky News "Theresa May demands reforms as sex toy minister investigated" and tells us: "Until now I never even realised we had a minister for sex toys."
Lesson learned
READER John Lawson in West Kilbride was on the train into Glasgow the other morning when he noticed two young women using the time to prepare for a university tutorial. Says John: "They were using their phones for their research when one of them, giving her thumbs a rest for a moment, shared with her friend, 'It must have been terrible in the old days – you had to know stuff'."
Leed him on
OUR mention of the great footballer Jim Baxter reminded Paul O'Sullivan: "In the late-1960s Baxter was called for an interview with Leeds United, the most successful club in England at the time. Manager Don Revie, trying to put pressure on Baxter, said, 'I've been asking around about you. It seems that football comes a long way behind birds, booze and fast cars in your list of priorities'.
"'You're remarkably well informed,' replied Slim Jim."
She nose you know
TALES of GPs continued. Says John Leonard: "I was a GP in Falkirk and one day I called in a four-year-old for her appointment who was attending with her grandmother. The child took one look at me and announced in a loud voice, 'See gran, I told you it was the doctor with the big nose we're seeing today'.
"The poor grandmother was mortified but it still makes me smile years later. Oh and as a point of interest, the child wasn't wrong!"
What a Bute-y
HOLIDAY website Tripadvisor includes forums where folk can ask questions about their holiday destinations which are usually answered by helpful locals. However one traveller asked this week: "Do I need a passport to travel to the Isle of Bute from England?" As someone replied: "No passport needed, but do make sure you get vaccinations to protect you from all the wild haggises that roam free on Bute."
No hanging around
ONE of the most stylish reasons given for a restaurant being closed was displayed in the window of Rogano in Glasgow on Tuesday where a notice stated: "We have decided to close today as traditionally on Hallowe'en it is believed this time of year is also when the walls between our world and the spirit world are thin and porous enough to enable spirits to pass through. It is said that the son of Rogano founder James Henry Roger hanged himself in one of the cloakrooms and some senior staff members swear that his ghost still haunts the place."
Sure beats staff shortages or burst pipes.
Trump that
AND news on Hallowe'en from Cumbernauld where local resident David Steel tells us a young boy came to his door dressed as Donald Trump with glowing orange skin and announced that he was going to build a wall around Cumbernauld and make it great again. Suggests David: "Building a wall around Cumbernauld might make the rest of Scotland great again rather than vice versa."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here