The miles to Dundee
WE do like our bus stories. Says Adam Cobb in Manchester: "I was on the last bus from Glasgow to Aberdeen on Friday when a young man ran across after the bus had started reversing and demanded to be let on. The driver refused and the young man staged a protest by blocking its departure. Some refreshed ladies on board started a sing-song while others bemoaned the fact that due to health and safety red-tape, the driver couldn't run him over.
"A young lady from another stance chastised the driver, and after 15 minutes the police turned up and dragged the young man away. Don't know whether he ever made it to Dundee."
Great free entertainment in Glasgow we reckon.
A cracker
OH and talking about health and safety, reader Eric MacDonald could not believe that a box of Christmas crackers in a local store had a sticker on it stating that you had to be 25 or over in order to buy them. Well you can't be too careful, the threat of feral youths roaming the streets demanding you pull Christmas crackers.
Pushy doctor
MORE on GPs as Alastair Stewart tells us: "An obituary in The Herald once told of a deceased doctor whose favourite story was when he looked out of his surgery window in the east end of Glasgow and saw one of his patients pushing a car. He decided to help the man but when he tried to assist he was told, 'Beat it doc - we're trying to steal it'."
Sax life
GREAT to see the old Californian rockers The Doobie Brothers playing in Glasgow the other night. Says fan David McVey: "A splendid gig. On some songs they featured sax player Marc Russo, a strangely familiar-looking figure, tall with long, straggly grey hair, granny glasses and a wispy grey beard. Some of the Glasgow audience clearly didn't catch his name, though - after one song with no sax input, there was a yell from the crowd of 'Get Billy Connolly back oan!'"
What drives you
GROWING old, continued. Dave Biggart in Kilmalcolm comments: "The latest excuse offered when pulled over by the police, 'I was speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going'."
Match that
ENJOY the fireworks last night? We recall the Lanarkshire resident who explained that he was approached by a youth outside a licensed grocer on the Fifth of November who pressed money on him and asked him to "pure go intae the shoap tae buy us tonic 'n' bangers". The young lad had hoped for a bottle of Buckfast and noisy fireworks, but the resident returned with a bottle of tonic water and a pack of sausages.
Write on
READER John Mulholland tells us that the new Diary book, The Herald Diary: Somebunny Loves You, is already on sale in Waterstones. When he took it up to the counter he told the assistant, rather proudly we hope, that some stories he had submitted to The Diary were included in it. He then noticed that the assistant had rung up £8.99 instead of £9.99 for the purchase, and when John asked why, the chap replied: "It's a 10% author's discount."
Chew on this
THE daft things you hear on trains. A Cathcart reader on the train into Glasgow heard a young woman confide to her pal: "I ate Starburst sweets with the wrapper on until I was 13 as someone told me the wrapper was edible sugar paper."
Going for gold
TODAY'S piece of daftness for a Monday morning comes from a reader who emails: "My husband got a bit of stick at work when he announced he was retiring.
"In truth he was a bit annoyed as he was hoping for a gold watch."
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