Trippity do da

WE think Motherwell fans are still hurting after losing the League Cup final when Celtic player Scott Sinclair fell down and duped the referee into giving a penalty. The club asked on social media for suggestions for the music to be played before their game against Celtic tonight and amongst the proposals were Falling Down by Oasis, Dive Dive Dive by Bruce Dickinson, Going Down by the Stone Roses, Invisible Touch by Genesis, and of course, Your Cheatin Heart by Hank Williams.

Baby talk

SOON be the Christmas party season, and we recall a young woman last year tell her squiffy pal that she scared away the chap she was speaking to at the bar. "How come?" her pal asked. "You asked him what his surname was as you wanted to check if it went with your favourite names you had picked out for your future kids," she replied.

Spilled the beans

AND is the Christmas present buying going well? A Milngavie reader was visiting his mum at the weekend and he noticed that the kitchen drawer still contained the expensive yet pristine Le Creuset chef's apron he had bought her last Christmas. "Why don't you use it?" he asked her. "Because I'm never wearing a dress that cost more than the apron," she told him.

Engaging thought

FOLK still pondering over the engagement of Prince Harry which is dominating the TV news. As Simon Blackwell muses: "It's difficult to say 'Harry to marry Meghan Markle' without either sounding drunk or like you're eating a hot chip."

Doesn't add up

TALKING of Harry, it reminds us of journalist Penny Junor being in Glasgow to publicise her book on the Royal Family when she revealed that her son went to school with Prince Harry and that they were as "clueless as each other". She said she had to thank Harry for being bottom of the class in mathematics. "Without Harry," she said, "my son would have been last in the whole year."

Hair raising

GLASGOW'S Theatre Royal is this week celebrating its 150th anniversary. One of our favourite Theatre Royal stories is when the late American comedian Joan Rivers was appearing with her one-woman show and was telling the local house-band that she wanted them to play her on stage with some local tune. As she told them: "Something rousing and vaguely war-like - something that'll have the crowd's moustaches bristling, including mine."

Any other memories of the Theatre Royal - including its days as the STV studios of course.

Bit of a doo

AMATEUR fitba' continued. Says reader Willie Douglas: "Playing for my works' team, one of our players was incensed by what he considered an unfair booking. The referee produced his notebook and asked for his name. 'Walter Pidgeon, 4 Crow Road' was the response, which earned the indignant one a red card."

Burger this

ROB Smith poses a question we had never considered before as he tells us: "We attended the Glasgow Warriors and Ospreys match in Swansea on Sunday and as the game was at lunchtime we purchased two burgers from the van at the stadium, but as we went in the security guard refused to let us in unless we showed him a receipt for our burgers. We had to stand and eat them outside the stadium before we could go in. Has anyone ever had a receipt from a burger van?"