Snow joke
BIT parky in Glasgow yesterday but folk still had their sense of humour. A reader passed a gentleman dressed as Santa on his way back from the charity Santa Dash who told his companion: "It was so cold that I thought my jaw was going to freeze - so I gritted my teeth."
And another reader who was up and about early in the city tells us: "No snow in Glasgow when down south it is everywhere. I couldn't work out whether I was feeling smug or disappointed."
Bear with it
THE feel-good film this Christmas that many are raving about is the new Paddington film. But as Kevin Day comments: "Saw Paddington 2 last night. Loved it, but slightly spoiled by the bloke behind me saying the prison scenes were unrealistic. You know, the person scenes where a talking bear helps with the cooking."
Dougie pitches in
OVER on social media, TV golf presenter Dougie Donnelly was apologising to his followers on Twitter for his page being hacked by ne'er-do-wells who put on it salacious pictures of women. Wrote Dougie a few hours later: "Thanks for all the advice on how to remove it, and apologies for filling up everyone's timeline with poor quality Arabic porn. Interestingly, I now have 128 new followers...."
Paging Eric
WE liked the comment by comedy writer Barry Cryer in today's Radio Times who was asked about the skills of Eddie Braben, the often unacknowledged scriptwriter who worked with Morecambe and Wise. Revealed Barry: "The pressures on Eddie were huge. Eric once claimed in an interview that they created the ideas and Eddie wrote them up. Eddie promptly sent them six pages of blank paper and enclosed a note saying, 'All right lads, get on with it'."
Lanarkshire glamour
WE mentioned Bonkle as one of our favourite West of Scotland bus destinations. Reader Kenny Sim reminds us that the vowel is pronounced as in "bunk" and adds: "A Wishaw High School friend in the sixties stayed in Bonkle and inevitably, because of the popular television series, became known as The Man from B.O.N.K.L.E."
Topping
COMEDIAN Sean Hegarty won an "Ireland's Funniest Joke" contest run by a pub in Bray with the line: "Do you think if one Domino's Pizza place were to close down, all the rest would have to follow?" I know, it's not that great, but we did like his response when he was told he had won: "It was a bit of a surprise as I don't think it's even my funniest, Like just last week I wrote a joke about the biggest pizza ever made. To be honest, I think it's gonna be hard to top that!"
Given the boot
THE Herald's sports pages say that former Rangers manager Alex McLeish is back in the running as the club's next manager. We recall when Alex was manager at Birmingham City and there was a news story about striker Olivier Kapo leaving the club, and the apprentice who had cleaned his boots all year asked if he could have a pair of them. Olivier replied that he had removed them all - and then handed the apprentice the keys to his £30,000 Mercedes, and said he could have that instead. What we liked was that Alex was asked what he thought about his gesture, and Alex replied: "As he was in such a generous mood I asked him what he had done with the house he had left behind in Turin. But he just smiled and said he wanted to keep hold of that."
Plane sailing
TODAY'S piece of whimsy comes from Moose Allain who says: "I wish my parents hadn't flown forkfuls into my mouth as a child. Now whenever I see an aeroplane I feel hungry."
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