Got it licked

SAD to hear of the death of Blackpool-born actor John Mahoney who played the dad in the TV series Frasier with such aplomb. In the show he was rarely seen without his Jack Russell terrier, Eddie, but John admitted in an interview that Moose, who played Eddie, was not that friendly. As John memorably put it: "When they wanted him to lick me, they’d put sardine oil on my face, and when they wanted him to lick Niles, they’d put liver pate behind his ears."

Crunch time

MUCH fun over the tenuous suggestion that crisp company Doritos are considering bringing out a version for women that doesn't crunch so much. As one father confesses: "I'm not going to lie. I would without doubt eat these Lady Doritos if they were quiet enough that my kids couldn't hear me eating them."

Soapy bubble

THE Modern Institute is an art gallery in an unpretentious building on Osborne Street near Glasgow's Briggait. Writer Deedee Cuddihy was there for a reception about the forthcoming Glasgow International 2018 contemporary arts festival in April, and tells us: "A gallery assistant was explaining that the building had been a wash house and bath house which had been lying empty for years before it was taken over for art purposes. Despite that, an elderly woman recently called in, accompanied by a bag of dirty laundry, and looked quite put out, according to the assistant, to be told that you could no longer wash your clothes there."

Being civil

CURRENT headlines about the civil service remind a retired professor in Glasgow of the first draft of a Government research project's final report which commended a department for its "courageous" commissioning of independent research into the outcomes of a particular decision. "You can't say 'courageous'," advised the civil servant overseeing the project. "It's a Sir Humphrey word. It means there's been a policy error. And, as you know, there's no such thing as a policy error."

Super trouper

ABBA Forever, a leading Abba tribute show, is at the Eastwood Park Theatre a week on Saturday, and Jane, who plays Agnetha, tells us: "When we were in the Edinburgh Playhouse, the bass player got a little over excited and did a high kick during the show. Unfortunately, he pulled a groin muscle and he went down. During the song Bjorn asked him to get up, to which he replied, 'I can’t!' Whether any groin muscles will be pulled at Eastwood, we cannot say.

Ear ear

GROWING old continued. Joyce Avery in Milngavie tells us: "My family were amused when I told them I had had laser treatment on my eyes to sharpen up my vision when reading the subtitles on the TV to help my hearing."

Best foot forward

A WEST-END woman tells us: "My friends were talking about taking part in a 5k for charity, and some were talking about running it, others said they would just power walk it, and I said I would skip it. For some reason they still think I'm taking part."

Cat in hell's chance

AH the joys of marriage. As Anne Hatfield put it: "In the early hours, as we are both in bed, we hear the hoarse retching of the cat coughing up a hairball. First one out of bed will have to clean it up. My bladder is empty. Bring it on."