A rum do

AS others see us. The American news network NBC has been discussing the introduction of minimum alcohol pricing in Scotland, and after a detail explanation of Scotland's difficulties with booze it went out to pubs to get the reaction of punters. In Edinburgh's Abbotsford Bar in Rose Street, NBC talked to Rhona, aged 50, who disagreed with First Minister Nicola Sturgeaon's assessment that Scotland had an alcohol problem. “She had no right saying that. I don’t think it’s true," said Rhona. NBC then added the helpful description: "Rhona is with a bachelorette party drinking rum and cokes. The bride-to-be, having drunk too much earlier, is back at the hotel already."

Group discussion

WE asked about audiences at concerts, and Bob Wallace in Pollokshields tells us: "During the interval at the Seal concert the other day, two older ladies were discussing concerts they had been to and were going to. Unfortunately my hearing let me down and I didn't catch the name of the group who were described as 'well, they were sh**e in the sixties, what are they going to be like 50 years on?'" Harsh, but probably accurate.

Draw the lines

GOOD to see the BBC comedy series Still Game is back for a run next month. Fans are already suggesting that if the series goes on for many more years, the stars will not need any make-up. Actor Jimmy Martin, the only actual pensioner who regularly appears in the show, once told us that on filming there is a "Call Sheet" which tells you the timetable for the day. All the others are in hours before filming for make-up. Jimmy Martin's call sheet has him in only half-an-hour before filming for his appointment with the face powder.

Going Italian

AH the Glasgow banter. A reader says he came out of a city centre supermarket at lunchtime the other day, and having bought a sandwich, had started eating it as soon as he got outside. A passing punter told him: "Do you know what Italians call eating outside a supermarket? Al Tesco."

Bombed

THE folk who run Glasgow's Subway are thinking of having artists Alasdair Gray and Nichol Wheatley back in to change the stunning ceramic mural at Hillhead station in order to remove a Glasgow councillor who is depicted in it because of his recent court appearance. We recall when Alasdair was working on his other great piece of public art, the ceiling in Oran Mor at the top of Byres Road. He dropped a piece of equipment which clattered down the metal scaffolding with a series of thumps. Actor John Bett, who was portraying a Nazi officer in the play Laughing at the Fuhrer, down below in Oran Mor, was interrupted by the racket, and ad libbed: "He hass done in a lunchtime votze Luftwaffe failed to do in four years.''

Slipped up

AS expected the curling is a great watch at the Olympics. As Greg tells us: "It's like curling, but it's just drunk me trying to pick an ice cube up off a linoleum floor."

A bit backward

OUR old chum Alison Campbell writes: "My attention has been drawn to the Diary story about your clever pal’s promotion to become Dr Awkward, the Professor of Palindromes. I assume he lives in Glenelg? The news caused some consternation to my friend Mr Alarm."

In the neck

OH dear, a colleague is eager to speak to me. Eventually I'm forced to look up and he declares: "Dad always said 'Never do something that you’ll regret later in life.' It was superb advice so I got it tattooed on the back of my neck."