Turfed out
OUR mention of the late evangelist Billy Graham’s rallies in Glasgow remind John Gilligan: “My Uncle Willie attended the one held at Ibrox. He used to tell me that the Pastor invited people to come forward and be saved. A wee Glesga fella raced on to the park and the Pastor asked if he had come to be saved. “Naw Reverend, it’s jist that ah’ve always wanted to walk on that pitch!” he replied.”

Made a meal of it
FOLK not sure about going to the shops with all the snow around. As writer Ross Teddy Craig puts it: “Current status in Scotland: one person’s checked the fridge. They freak out. Their partner tells them to chill, there’s always Just Eat. The first person explains how roads work. Person Two eats Person One.”

Holding a torch
CINEMAS in the past, continued. Says David Strang: “About 50 years ago I took my mother and my wife to the cinema. The usherette greeted us, and said, ‘I don’t have three seats together but I can offer you a two and a single, and if one becomes free beside the ladies I will come back for you’. So off she went, and about an hour later she came back for me, and said, ‘I have got you a seat beside your wife and your daughter’. I said, ‘You need a new battery in that torch’.”

Dog days
OUR tale of the juxtaposition of Specsavers, Lloyds Pharmacy and Greggs in a row of shops being nicknamed “Specs and Drugs and Sausage Rolls” brings forth the comment from Bruce Rodger: “I’ve been using that one for years – except it was a pet shop in the middle – Specs and dugs and sausage rolls.”
And the picture of the airport sign asking people not to eat the carpet reminds Ronnie McLean: “In our student partying days, one mate reckoned he’d slept on so many floors that he could tell an Axminster from a Wilton ‘by the taste’.”

Food for thought
CAN’T avoid politics these days. Says John Neil: “On the radio the other morning one guy said Britain’s chances of getting trade deals would be as “difficult as getting an egg out of an omelette”. Another fellow said Brexit was like exchanging a three-course meal for a packet of crisps. Then the other guy said we can’t have our cake and eat it. “Feeling a bit peckish now.”

Dig it
AS others see us. Another peek at travel site TripAdvisor where a woman in Virginia, USA, this week asks: “We will be in Scotland in June. What fresh fruits and vegetables will be available?” We hope she meant grown locally rather than thinking modern living had passed us by. Anyway we liked the reply of one chap who said: “Whisky is derived from vegetables and is always in season.”

Stone me
BUMP into Jack Irvine, boss of leading PR company Media House, whose daughter Rebecca has just joined the firm as a senior consultant. He tells us: “If it hadn’t been for The Herald, Rebecca wouldn’t exist.”
Now that’s surprising. Fortunately Jack explains: “My wife Maureen and I met when we were Herald journalism trainees.
“I was on the West Lothian Courier and Maureen came through from the East Kilbride News to stone her paper every week.” And no, gentle readers, not throw stones at it, but to finish making it up “on the stone”. Changed days.