Boss for a spell
FANS are reacting to the news that little-known manager Graham Potter is now favourite with the bookies to take over as manager of Rangers. John Henderson says many fed-up fans proclaim that even Harry Potter wouldn't be able to bring back the magic at Ibrox.
Weighty problem
A READER hears a woman in a Glasgow coffee shop explain to her pals: "The young girl in the hairdresser's was talking about her wedding and saying rather rudely that she didn't want any fat bridesmaids. It took all my effort not to lean over and say, 'Why? Do you not want any competition?'"
On the fiddle
WHERE did the time go? It's the 30th anniversary tomorrow of the opening of the Glasgow Garden Festival, and we recall a reader who told us that a pal who busked with a violin outside bingo halls was called in to the dole office in those Thatcherite days and quizzed on his job-seeking. He had put himself down on the books as a violinist, believing no job would be found for him and he could carry on his indolent days on the broo. Said our reader: "I didn't see him for some months before visiting the garden festival. On entering the catering hall, I was amazed to see our man for the first time ever in a suit and black tie, sitting in the front row of the band and sawing his fiddle in a completely scunnered manner, having to cope with six months of gainful employment."
Hard to swallow
THE festival also opened us Glaswegians up to more sophisticated food and drink. The pub on the festival site had a sign stating "Frankfurters £1" and more than one chap went up to the bar and asked for a pint of Frankfurters.
Fly guy
WE are all a bit afraid of saying anything challenging to flight crew these days as you sense they are ready at a moment's notice to call security, so a reader flying down to London from Glasgow was impressed when a chap using his phone to play games while the plane stood on the tarmac was told by a steward to put his phone on airplane mode and the chap replied: "We've been sitting here for half an hour, is it not time to put the plane in airplane mode?'"
Bit of a footer
I KNOW we get accused of toilet humour in the Diary, but readers have been concentrating on stories about awkward toilet moments. Jim McDonald joins in by telling us: "Last week in Peebles I found myself in a pub's gents where there was no bolt on the door to lock it, and when I heard footsteps heading towards the cubicle I began whistlng to deter another customer.
"I related this to a friend who told me that when he was a youngster he lived in a tenement with 'stairheid toilets' where you used your foot to hold the door closed to prevent other tenants entering.This ploy worked fine until one day he visited his aunt who also had an outside toilet without a door bolt. He extended his leg as usual to act as a lock. Unfortunately he hadn’t noticed that the door opened outwards. Aye, he was caught with his pants down."
Them's the breaks
OH, that's harsh, but reader John Cotton in Stewart tells us: "I noticed in the 'On this day' section of The Herald that in 1983 Cliff Thorburn completed the first televised 147 maximum break at snooker. It did not however say that due to Cliff's rather slow play, he didn't complete it till 1984."
Hair, hair
YES, lots of pictures of the new Royal Baby in newspapers yesterday. As our old chum Victor Brierley declares: "Rejoice! Prince William no longer the baldest in the Family."
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