NICOLA Sturgeon may have promised to deliver decisive reform in Scotland’s schools system, but so far she hasn’t been able to deliver a Pisa, we learned at FMQs.
That being the acronym for the Programme for International Student Assessment, the pick of the global education rankings, currently topped by Singapore.
Scotland used to be rather tasty at Pisa, above average in science, maths and reading.
Now we’re just spongy and bland, somewhere between a Margherita and damp toast.
“After a decade of SNP control of Scottish education, those are the worst set of results ever recorded,” opened Tory leader Ruth Davidson. “To pre-empt the usual excuses, who does the First Minister blame for that? Is it the Labour Party or is it us?
However Ms Sturgeon simply held out her hands for the belt.
“I take responsibility, on behalf of the Scottish Government, for the performance of Scottish education. If anyone thinks that I will stand here and give excuses, they are wrong.”
But fresh reforms were nigh, she added. Things would improve soon. Pinky promise!
Ms Davidson said the FM and her mediocre minions had vowed better days for a decade.
“We have had 10 years of promises from education secretary after SNP education secretary. How does the FM mark their efforts—pass or fail?”
The FM conspicuously failed to defend her colleagues, but insisted they were taking “hard, concrete and tangible actions,” like wrecking the education system, for instance.
LibDem Willie Rennie then delivered the ultimate verdict on the SNP’s record.
After listing two dozen countries above Scotland in the Pisa league, he tutted: “After 10 years of SNP rule, we are not even as good as England any more.” Nat MSPs winced as one.
“I’m not going to rise to the bait on the politics of this issue,” added an agonised Ms Sturgeon.
Citing previous government platitudes, Mr Rennie went on: “Complacency has been oozing out of ministers for a whole decade. The ever-modest Mike Russell even delivered a speech entitled, ‘Scottish education - from Good to Great’.”
Mr Russell sat up at the back. But as that speech would now be subtitled ‘From Good to Good Grief’, in future he’d be wiser to keep a profile lower than a crispy crust.
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