JEREMY Corbyn’s face was as red as the people’s flag on Monday, when Labour members booed a reporter’s question about the royal engagement. But the joint event with Richard Leonard was always bound to go wrong. Why? Because it was in the most toxic room in Scottish politics. The top of the Lighthouse in Glasgow also jinxed the SNP’s 2003 manifesto launch, Labour’s 2007 manifesto launch, Wendy Alexander’s leadership launch, Labour’s election relaunch in 2011, and Jackson Carlaw’s Tory leadership bid the same year. D’oh!

MR Corbyn has also struck out in the Parliamentary Beard of the year contest. Organised by the Beard Liberation Front, the shortlist of MPs and peers includes the SNP’s Stewart Hosie and Labour’s Ian Murray from north of the border. Labour hairies Barry Gardiner and Paul Flynn, and Tory tache twirlers Nadhim Zahawi and George Freeman also feature. Mr Corbyn didn’t make the cut. A seven-time winner, he’s been banned to give others a chance. Elitists!

SO, farewell then, Tim Hustler. The Scottish LibDem spindoctor is leaving Holyrood to work for a cancer charity. If you’re one of the seven billion who don’t know who this bloke is, Unspun is here to help. Before his party gig, Tim was a student hack at Dundee Uni, where he set up YouTube channels to promote his genius. Those going to tiny.cc/Unspun can catch his unforgettable (believe us, we’ve tried) rendition of S Club 7’s Reach for the Stars. It’s the sort of thing that gets people a cult following. Or an ASBO.

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ANYONE who makes it to the end of that video can then enjoy Mr Hustler being tortured. Possibly for a good cause, possibly for the above, he underwent a prolonged leg waxing. You can feel every hair being ripped out as he screams like a baby. The waxer deadpans that it is a “unique” response from a client. It’s awesome. Before there was Kez in the jungle, there was Tim in the beauty salon. We hope his career takes a happier trajectory than hers.

ALEX Salmond’s dress sense continues to delight. After hosting his TV show sporting a blue and green candy-stripe shirt, he was nicknamed the Eckchair. It was followed this week with a monochrome ensemble reminiscent of Johnny Cash, making him The Nat in Black. Loving the look, he insisted on air that his sartorial antennae were fine. “There's nothing wrong with my shirts! Don’t read the right-wing media!” But we thought the Daily Mail liked blackshirts...

BEFORE he was the hub of a global broadcast empire, the former FM coined it in as a humble scribbler. The firm he set up for his book and newspaper dosh recorded equity of £67,127 in year one. This has now fallen to £24,369. The dream may never die, but sales ain’t quite so healthy, it seems. Worse, the new accounts state: “The financial statements are prepared in sterling, which is the functional currency of the company.” Don’t rub it in!

THE SNP’s Brexit minister, Mike Russell, has been in the thick of it this week, meeting First Secretary Damian Green and Scottish Secretary David Mundell to haggle over powers. We already knew Russ the Remainer was a great Europhile, but is the portfolio turning his head? When the Scottish Government issued a statement from him it referred to him as “Michel Russell”. He has now, inevitably, been dubbed a euro shop Michel Barnier.