It must be a funny old life being a scientist. While some of us mere mortals are still trying to get our heads round the elaborate complexities of the chamber pot, those intrepid sciency folk spend their days fathoming out how the universe basically works and devising a variety of thingymebobs that will bring a myriad of benefits to the entire human race.
And how do we thank them? That’s right, by denouncing them as eccentric, boggle-eyed, subterranean boffins who should be drowned in the village pond for acts of heresy.
The other day, I read that within 45 years, Artificial Intelligence will be able to outperform humans at every conceivable task.
“Artificial Intelligence?,” mumbled the sports editor as he beckoned me towards his desk while menacingly caressing his duelling scar. “You’re an expert in the field of Authentic Incompetence.”
There’s no exact science when it comes to the game of golf, of course, and you’re never quite sure who is going to strike it rich in this unpredictable, capricious pursuit. Those aforementioned A.I robots will probably be writing this column before we get a new, fresh-faced Scottish winner on the European Tour.
While notable triumphs at the amateur level continue – the wins of Liam Johnston in the Scottish Open Strokeplay and Clara Young in the St Rule Trophy at the weekend was an uplifting double whammy – the long-standing problem of transferring success in the unpaid game to the pro ranks continues to cause much mystified head-shaking in the game’s cradle.
Over in Italy, meanwhile, they are revelling in the maiden tour triumph of Renato Paratore, the 20-year-old from Rome who won the Nordea Masters in Sweden on Sunday.
Like his young countryman, Matteo Manassero, before him, Paratore has justified the plaudits he received in the amateur scene and has underlined those talents by proving his worth at the top level.
Those on the golf writing beat who were fortunate enough to see Manassero win the Amateur Championship as a 16-year-old at Formby in 2009 had a considerable inkling that we were glimpsing something very special and he didn’t disappoint as he went on to capture his first European Tour win at the age of just 17 in 2010.
Paratore was championed to a similar extent and while all that hoopla can create its own burdens on young shoulders, he hit the ground running by earning his European Tour card through the qualifying school at the first time of asking as a 17-year-old in 2014.
There was no apprenticeship served on the mini-tours or progression through that proven breeding ground of the Challenge Tour which, more often than not, flags up those who have what it takes.
Critics will always maintain that the q-school route to the tour doesn’t prepare raw recruits for the rigours of frontline combat but Paratore fast-tracked himself there and has thrived. Those who are good enough will find a way to succeed.
At just 20, he has joined the growing youth movement across the pro spectrum, both male and female, which, in itself, is a daunting reality for our young Scots trying to earn a foothold on the perilous ladder.
“I’m still on a learning curve,” is a phrase you often here spouted by players in this country who are hurtling towards their 30s and have been chipping away at the pro coal face for years. Of course, you’re always learning in this game but in an age of ruthless competition and formidable strength in depth, you’ve got to learn quickly.
The other alluring and well-documented aspect of Paratore’s play is his speed. He certainly doesn’t hing aboot.
If the great Bobby Jones’ address-to-impact time was less than three seconds, then blink-and-you’ll-miss-him Paratore makes that swing process look as laboured as King Kong’s heartbeat after he toppled off the Empire State Building. “Playing fast is good for the mind," he reasoned.
It’s onwards and upwards at a sprightly pace for Paratore but the fluctuating fortunes of his compatriot, Manaserro, may just act as a warning.
In the search for more length off the tee, he made some significant changes and did not come up with the desired results. The weight of expectation on someone so young also had an impact.
He went from a high of 25th in the world in 2013 to a low of 893rd last year but, thankfully, he is making strides in the right direction again.
Ups and downs are par for the course in this roller-coaster of a game and it’s Paratore who is enjoying the ascent just now.
Artificial Intelligence? Paratore is proving that he’s the genuine article.
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