Lorne Jackson

It would be criminally foolish to avoid reading the following classic tales from our archives…

PLANET Earth is a cruel and heartless neck of the woods, and we wouldn’t recommend loitering in such a disreputable neighbourhood for any amount of time. Though occasionally the relentless nastiness is rudely interrupted by a small act of kindness...

SCOTLAND has been exceedingly soggy of late, as damp as a widow’s handkerchief. This state of affairs has not gone unnoticed by our readers.

We also pointed out that if Rishi Sunak secretly accepts he won’t be in Number 10 much longer, he can make all manner of fanciful election pledges which he won’t have to deliver. Here's another of them ...

Reader John Evans believes that the PM’s unlikely victory means he can gleefully guarantee British voters all manner of exotic baubles.

RISHI Sunak is surely one of the more unfortunate British Prime Ministers.

IF you go down to the West End today you’re sure of a big surprise, notes local author Deedee Cuddihy, who has been puzzling over a number of massive concrete containers which mysteriously appeared overnight this week.

MUSIC-LOVING Mike Sprott is proud to be an ageing hippy and was delighted when his wife bought him a T-shirt of his favourite band for his 80th birthday.

THE boffin community are a clever bunch of people, though sometimes they go too far in their endeavours, such as that unfortunate occasion when Baron Von Frankenstein built an entire chap out of prime cuts from the local butcher shop.

Diary correspondent Roger Bell, who was in the boozer with a chum the other day, and the chum looked most forlorn.